IBNLive Chat: 'Indian men think they are Gods'

Editor of men’s magazine Maxim, Anup Kutty, in a sidesplitting Freedom Chat with IBNlive readers, answers queries on the Indian male, homosexuality and sex.

Americanwoman: You are so naughty. If I still lived India I would have asked you out.

Anup Kutty: Why? Thank you.

Rinky Ghosh: If you were a girl would you fall for a guitarist in a band or for an editor of a men's magazine?

Anup Kutty: Both.

Roy: Why do Indian men impose their ideas and sometimes themselves on women all the time? What will it take for them to grow up?

Anup Kutty: It’s because Indian men were brought up thinking that they are Gods (which really is not a problem to me). But what you need to change is the upbringing and conditioning.

Abby: What do you think about homosexuality? I have had sex with almost 15 men in my city in India and I know those guys have had sex with others too. So why are we not so open? Do u think media should play a greater role?

Anup Kutty: Whatever makes you happy. But quite frankly media is far more supportive of homosexuality here than anywhere else.

Kumar: Why is sex education in India seen as dirty?

Anup Kutty: That's because sex education in India has till now been mostly conducted by legends like Ron Jeremy, Peter North, Nikki Tyler. Perhaps we should bring in some serious educators and not doubt the intelligence of children.

Pheonix: How well do men (Indian) deal with a partner cheating on them? Is it fair to expect them to be understanding?

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Anup Kutty: No man would be understanding just like no woman would be. The ones that are, are probably plotting murder.

Jack:If your wife does not co-operate in sex, she doesn't like it that much and just does it as a job, what should a guy do about it?

Anup Kutty: Seduce her, try showing her some "love-making" movies, spend time loving her instead of mindlessly jumping into bed. If that doesn't work, then try becoming a celibate. It’s "in" these days.

Dhruv: Why is the Indian male sceptical about his sexual abilities?

Anup Kutty: Which Indian male?

Pravahan: Should a man insist that his wife-to-be should be a virgin?

Anup Kutty: It won’t work. Are you telling me you are one?

Pree: People say that condoms are not 100 per cent safe. So to be absolutely sure of not getting a girl pregnant, what other precautions in addition to condoms must be taken?

Anup Kutty: The pill.

Bal:Does sex fall under freedom of expression which is a fundamental right? It is also a way of expressing emotions.

Anup Kutty: I completely agree with you. It helps me express myself when I am feeling lonely. If you know what I mean.

Neha C: Why do you think Indian men need a men's magazine like Maxim when they are content reading Cosmopolitan, which in anycase gives a better view from a woman's perspective on what they expect from men. Aren't these articles more enlightening for the men?

Anup Kutty:Cosmopolitan is a women's magazine for women. Maxim is a men's magazine for men. Men don't want women telling them what to do in their magazine. They get enough of that in their homes.

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Americanwoman: I met a boy at a wedding a few months back, and we kissed. I tried to forget about it, but recently I received the wedding pictures and seeing him again made me realise how much I miss him and how well we got along during those few hours. It was like the shortest affair I ever had. He lives in another city. I don't know what to do. Also, is it wrong to have a crush on another boy when I already have a boy friend?

Anup Kutty: Keep that secret crush of yours in your head. It’s better in there.

King: Why are women more attracted to married men?

Anup Kutty: It’s because then they can safely talk about it to their boyfriends and make them jealous. They are mean things!

Roy_Malhotra: I've been told that women never appreciate what they can have. Do you think playing 'hard to get' is the way to attracting a woman, or just a hurtful mind game?

Anup Kutty: Some women like to chase rather than chasing. The trick is to make them get a bit irritated about how you are playing the tease. But just don't overdo it.

Yaduraj: Dear Mr Kutty, is itchy scrotum a direct result of AIDS?

Anup Kutty: No, it's more likely to be unwashed underwear syndrome.

Gunda: Indian women are a bit too shy about sexual relationships? What shall I do to make her agree for sex?

Anup Kutty: You could start by changing your name first. Then you have got to play the game of wooing her. No woman wants to come easy. You have to make her feel special and wanted. Yes, it's time consuming.

Vish: What’s your advice to gay men who get married?

Anup Kutty: Just cut the 'best man' part.

Taurus: Why are men interested in sex and women in love?

Anup Kutty: That’s rubbish. Men are just foolishly honest.

Mukesh M: I am a hairy man. I have hair all over my body, hands and legs. What do women think of such men? Will my future wife be put off?

Anup Kutty: A bit of fur never did anyone any harm. Although if they called you caveman in school, then perhaps you could try getting rid of some of it through some nasty smelling hair-removing creams. Although, women really dig a bit of hair, it's part of your manhood. Be proud of it.

Darkfreak: Why are men jealous and insecure even after a breakup and their only concern is whether she is sleeping around with someone or not. Or why do (I) think like this. Why can I just let it go?

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Anup Kutty: It’s because we are possessive by nature. It’s male ego. There’s nothing you can do about it except for giving yourself time and watching random TV shows to kill the pain. Try South Park. It helped in my case.

Artee: There was an article in Time magazine about people marrying 'outside their looks' for example, Donald Trump. Do women (attractive) really don't give two hoots about the looks? Is money so important? I am pretty well to do, but Aishwarya Rai didn’t marry me. Your comments.

Anup Kutty: Sorry to disappoint you but no matter how much your girl tells you that she is not interested in the money, they all want to have a fancy dinner at an expensive and go shopping every day. What you could do is keep your wits when broke, throw that one liner.

Suhas: How can we know a woman is satisfied during sex?

Anup Kutty: If she comes back for more, you are a stud.

Americanwoman: I am in a long distance relationship with an Indian boy. We barely meet once in a year. How can I keep the spark alive since physical intimacy is not really possible?

Anup Kutty: Use technology, send naughty pictures/videos of yourself.

Lucky: A friend working for a condom company pointed out that American and European sizes are more or less the same. African diameters are two to three mm larger, and Russians need a diameter that's as much as four mm larger to avoid choking. The smallest are the Bangladeshis, Nepalis, and - yes - the Indians. What do you say?

Anup Kutty: Western propaganda, I say! Just so that they can start offloading their penis enlargement pills and machines to our holy country. And no I am not the type who believes that 9/11 was mastered by Bush himself.

Sahara: Mr Kutty, Is it true you can tell a modern Indian man from a traditional one by if he performs cunnilingus?

Anup Kutty: That’s a very good question. In fact, some random surveys conducted by women in our country have revealed that traditional Indian men don't even know about the option of going south. I am not surprised. There are many who still think a women's navel is where you get jiggy.

Malini: In the midst of so many foreign magazines coming to India, how do you intend to make Maxim survive in India especially when it lacks the wit. It is so well known for in the US and the bold pictures from the British edition?

Anup Kutty: Maxim isn’t about bold pictures. It’s about humour, beautiful women, technology and everything else that goes in a boy’s head. It’s about the post-globalisation generation of Indians that are ready to take on the world and who need a benchmark magazine to read, laugh and relate to.

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Kushi: At what age should we start educating kids about sex?

Anup Kutty: As soon as they start playing "doctor" although that was my favourite game when I was a child. But yes, I think sex education should come in from the day children start finding "differences" between them.

Pheonix: What is the overall shift in terms of interest and ideals, that you have seen/noticed, in the average Indian male?

Anup Kutty: To begin with, the whole idea of an "Indian male" is changing. We are getting global. We face the same problems, ambitions and issues that every guy in the world does. The same things still bother men: women, career and being updated with the times. And perhaps in that very order.

Max: Does the first time one has sex a painful experience?

Anup Kutty: It depends on the circumstances. Usually its smooth sailing.

Jaaneman: Why do you think long hair on men is cool? And what shampoo do you use?

Anup Kutty: To be honest, I wait a minute. Is this my ex-girlfriend? Wait. Mother, is that you? Yes mother, I shall get a haircut soon.

Rohan: is it is harmful to have sex daily?

Anup Kutty:Not unless you are into some serious S&M.

Kaplesh: What do you think about the problems?

Anup Kutty: Very good question indeed. Yes. Very nice.

Ramesh: will I have to use a condom went I have sex for the first time?

Anup Kutty: Yes.

Max-Her: Why do you think men stare at breasts? What is the fascination?

Anup Kutty: I think it's mostly because we men are jealous of something that you women have and we don't. And the fact that we can't spend hours shopping for expensive lingerie to wear which no one will get to see anyway. Of course, some people have connected men's fascination for breasts to their feeding days. But I am pretty sure I’ve got it right!

Moderator IBNlive: Dear readers, Anup Kutty has left the chat room. For the questions that were left unanswered, we hope to corner him again to answer those. Thank you for your questions. Please do log on Monday, August 6, 3 to 4 pm to chat with Bruce Lee Mani on 'Indian music and making money from music'.