How to Be Unique

Being the Authentic You

Identify your personal goals and values. Make a list of the things that are really important to you. Next, consider the things you most want to achieve in your lifetime. Review these lists to figure out what you most value. Then, choose 1-3 personal goals that are important to you. For example, you might value creativity, helping others, and caring for the environment. Your goal may be to reduce your carbon footprint, to write a novel, or to serve your community. Try getting in touch with your inner child—don't be afraid to have fun and be who you really are!

Pursue your hobbies and interests to make yourself more interesting. Think about the things you enjoy doing most, then figure out how you can include them in your life more. Set aside time throughout your week to pursue these activities. This will help you be more true to yourself, and it’ll show people that you’re an exciting person. For example, you might play music in a local coffee shop, write a blog about movies, knit hats that you sell, or participate in local theater. Don't be afraid to break out of your comfort zone and try something new. If you've always wanted to play the drums, sign up for classes! If you love seeing the sunrise, get up early and watch the sun come up.

Challenge the beliefs that you learned from others to find your truth. You’ve probably absorbed a lot of rules about life from the people around you, like your parents, teachers, or religious leaders. Some of the beliefs will feel true for you, but others may not. Think about the beliefs you learned from others, then question whether or not they feel true for you. In some cases, you may want to talk to other people or do some research to learn more about the topic. Finally, adopt beliefs that fit with your personal values. For example, your parents may have taught you that the only way to be successful in life is to get a high paying job. However, this might not feel true to you. Instead, you may prefer to pursue your passion for teaching dance. Similarly, let's say your family taught you not to trust people who are a different religion from you. After thinking about it, you might decide that you don't like judging people based on labels and want to treat everyone equally.

Embrace your flaws because they make you who your are. No one is perfect, and it’s okay to have flaws! Instead of looking at your flaws as a bad thing, view them as a balance that helps you recognize your best qualities. Then, try to stop criticizing yourself and focus on being your best self. For example, you might feel like your feet are too big or you might wish you could sing better. Chances are, you're the only one who notices these "flaws." Either way, they help make you unique, so try to accept them. It’s okay to work on improving your flaws if they bother you. For instance, let’s say that you get tired after you try to run a mile. You might set a goal to improve your fitness level if this bothers you. Similarly, you might want to attend tutoring sessions to help you do better at math if you're struggling in class. However, you don't need to feel bad about these things.

Silence your inner critic. It’s likely that your inner critic is worried that people are going to judge you. That’s probably because you felt judged in the past. To quiet this voice, figure out what you’re afraid will happen if you just be yourself. Then, challenge those thoughts by focusing on what could go right and thinking about your strengths. For example, your inner critic might say, “People will think you look stupid.” This fear might stem from getting teased in middle school. Tell yourself, “People who criticize me feel insecure about themselves, and I’m not going to let them drag me down with them. I’m creative and strong, so I’m going to show that off.” EXPERT TIP Kirsten Parker, MFA Kirsten Parker, MFA Mindset & Action Coach Kirsten Parker is a Mindset and Action Coach based in her hometown of Los Angeles, California. She helps high achievers overcome stress and self-doubt. She specializes in increasing one's confidence and clarity by incorporating tools from positive psychology, mindful habit change, and self-regulation into her coaching. She is a Certified HeartMath Practitioner trained in Stress, Anxiety, and Intelligent Energy Management along with Emotional Intelligence and the Science of Self-Acceptance. She also holds an MFA from Yale University School of Drama in Stage Management. Kirsten Parker, MFA Kirsten Parker, MFA Mindset & Action Coach Catch negative self-talk when it happens. Then, try to figure out what you're afraid will happen. Try to argue against those thoughts by figuring out what could go right. Remind yourself of your strengths.

Broadening Your Horizons

Try new things to get more experiences. Your experiences make you more unique, so be open to trying new things. Attend local events and festivals, try out new hobbies, and sample new foods. Here are some things you can try: Eat foods from other cultures. Go to local museums. Visit nearby towns. Practice an instrument. Ask your friends to show you their hobbies. Go to local cultural festivals. Attend local art shows.

Express yourself through a creative hobby. Being creative will help you be more unique and different. Choose a hobby that you enjoy and work on improving at it. Here are some ideas: Become a painter. Keep a sketchbook. Start a blog. Play an instrument. Join a community theater.

Learn about different topics to expand your knowledge. Having a wide range of knowledge will set you apart from the crowd. Plus, it gives you a lot to talk about! Watch documentaries, read books, and do online research to learn more. Choose topics that interest you, or just look up random things. For example, learn about ancient Rome, Egyptian gods, or Aztec myths. Read about psychology and the different theories people have had. Learn more about movements like spiritualism, hippies, or prohibition.

Take an acting or improv class to boost your confidence. Embracing your uniqueness can be hard at first, especially if you feel like everyone is looking. Taking a theater class will help you get used to being “seen,” so it can help you be more confident in your real life. Join your school or community theater troupe, or look for classes in your area. You might be able to find free theater events on Meetup.com.

Travel to learn more about the world. Visiting other places helps you understand how other people live. Additionally, it helps you learn more about yourself. Try to include more travel in your life, even if you’re just taking a day trip to a nearby location. Pay attention to the culture of the place you go, how people act and dress, and what they seem to value. Think about how you feel about the places you go and look for things you can learn.Variation: You might not be able to travel right now, and that’s okay! Instead, immerse yourself in documentaries, travel books, and online blogs about the places you want to visit. This will help you learn about other places on a budget.

Ignore your haters because they mean you're doing something right. In a perfect world, there’d be no haters. However, that’s usually not how things play out. When your haters bother you, try not to listen to them and walk away. Then, use a positive affirmation to boost your spirits. You might say, "I'm not going to let their negativity hold me back," or "I'm stronger than their words." For example, let's say you've entered your school's talent show and people start spreading rumors about how you don't have talent. This can be a really painful experience, but it says more about them than it does about you. They're probably envious that you're following your dream, and making fun of you is the best way to get you to stop trying. Don't let people hold you back from doing what you want. When you feel yourself getting discouraged, tell yourself, “My life must be more interesting than theirs if they’re so worried about what I’m doing,” or “I’d rather be different than invisible.”Tip: Keep in mind that haters typically latch onto people they envy or people who step outside the norm. If you’ve got people “hating” on you, consider yourself a success!

Standing Out

Stop comparing yourself to others. It’s hard to stop comparing yourself to what others are doing. However, it’s important to stop because you’ll always view yourself unfavorably, even if that’s not true. Instead, compare yourself to you in the past to make sure you’re growing into the person you want to be. For instance, compare your skills last year to the skills you have now. As an example, you might be tempted to compare your grades to your friend's grades. Instead, compare the skills you have now to your performance in the past. You might say to yourself, "Last year I didn't understand algebra at all, but now I'm passing my class. That's progress!"Tip: You might have people who inspire you, like your favorite singer or actor. That’s totally okay! Just make sure you’re not judging yourself based on what they’re doing.

Do what makes you happy without worrying about what others think. Life is short, so spend it doing things that make you happy. People are going to have a different perspective on things than you do, but don’t listen when they say negative things. Just keeping doing you. For instance, don’t be afraid to wear Halloween clothes in July if that makes you happy. Similarly, wear wigs every day if you have fun changing up your look. Spend your time around people who are supportive of you, rather than people who will drag you down and judge you.

Reject conformity and choose your own path. You’ve probably encountered conformity at your school or work. Sometimes it’s important to follow rules, but that doesn’t mean you have to give up your identity. Don’t feel like you have to fit in with everyone else. Just be yourself. For instance, don’t worry about what’s trendy or fashionable. Choose clothes that express what you want to say to the world. Similarly, don't feel pressured to choose an educational or career path just because everyone else is doing it. When you make decisions, do what feels right for you even if other people don't agree. If you wear a uniform, try expressing yourself through your accessories. If those aren’t allowed either, look for other ways to express yourself, like starting a club or speaking out in class.

Combine your clothes in unexpected ways to create unique outfits. First and foremost, it’s important to wear clothes that you like and make you feel comfy. However, you can also make your outfits unique by mixing up styles and pieces. Raid your closet and see what kind of outfit combinations you can make. For example, wear a striped button-up shirt over a skirt with a bold print. Wear a sleek red blazer with a graphic tee and a pair of leather pants. Pair a shirt dress with floral skinny jeans. Angelina Jolie Angelina Jolie, Actress & Humanitarian Having a compelling personal style is about being authentically yourself. "I think we all know boldness when we see it. Nothing makes me smile more than when I see someone being fully themselves, with their own individual style and character, whatever that is."

Accessorize your outfits with bold pieces. Look for bold jewelry, glasses, hats, scarves, belts, shoes, and handbags. Alternatively, make your own accessories! Add at least one fun accessory to each outfit to help your look stand out from the crowd. For example, use a white paint pen to decorate a pair of plain black shoes so they’re one-of-a-kind. Add embellishments to your handbag or backpack to make it more original. Pick jewelry that’s large or made out of weird materials. For instance, you might get a pendant that’s made from a glass eye.

Play around with your makeup if you wear it. Break the rules when it comes to makeup! Pair colors in unexpected ways to create a fun, new look. Treat your face like a canvas where you can express yourself. For example, use bold shades on your eyelids, draw on a temporary tattoo with eyeliner, create a crystal design using stick-on gems, wear a bold lipstick, or use different colored eyeliners on your top and lower lashes. To learn new techniques, watch YouTube tutorials.Variation: Skipping makeup is also a great way to be unique! Don’t feel like you have to turn your face into a canvas if you don’t like it.

Get a tattoo or piercings if you like the way they look. Tattoos and piercings can give you a different look from others. Additionally, they provide a great conversation starter when you meet new people. If you want a tattoo, pick designs that mean something to you or that you think look cool. If you want to get a piercing, look for earrings or body jewelry that show off what you like. For example, you might get a mermaid tattoo because you’re obsessed with mermaids and a shooting star tattoo because you like how it looks. Similarly, you might pick body jewelry that’s your favorite color, or you could pick a jewel that’s your birthstone. Make sure you get your parent or guardian's permission if you're younger than the legal age of consent in your area.