In Salman Khan's latest brain shattering flick 'Jai Ho', his character Jai says he has but one rule: "Agar apko aisa lagta hai ki hum logo ne app par koi aihsan kia, to app thank you mat kahiye instead teen logo ki madad ki jiye". A sort of a pay it forward Ponzi scheme - a wonderfully stupid idea that has the as much potential to work in the real world as green chilly ice cream.
Now before some Salman fans come at me with how spicy ice cream should be the next big thing in the dessert business, let's list 10 rules to living that Shri Shri Salman Khan preaches with his actions in 'Jai Ho':
1. When in doubt - punch.
2. When punching, make sure you hit them so hard the jaw breaks.
3. If punching doesn't work, roar like a lion right in your opponents face and scare him with halitosis. If roaring doesn't work, bite the arm.
4. Being chased by goons? Call Sunil Shetty and tell him to bring an army tank.
5. When terrorists shoot bullets at you, find a bike and ride right at them.
6. Best way to counter a knife in the back and a bullet in the chest is to take off your shirt.
7. Hire all your worthless friends because no one else will.
8. Ugly ray bans are a sure shot way to woo a Gujarati girl named Rinky.
9. Have an extended discourse on the usage for the word 'G***o'.
10. Discuss pink lingerie with children.
And there you have it! Follow these golden rules and you're on your way to enlightenment. Jai ho!
(Karan Talwar is a Mumbai based comedian, writer and describes himself as the leader of mankind. In his own words, he has "a Masters in Business and a PhD in flatulence and is easily amused by human stupidity".)
Comments
0 comment