Respecting Your Partner
Make them a priority. Part of respecting someone is making them a priority in your life. Deciding that they aren’t good enough to devote much of your time to makes them seem like they are an afterthought. It also sends the message that you don’t respect them enough to make them a big part of your life. This can be devastating to your partner. Look your partner in the eye when they are talking to you, put down your phone or any other distractions when you are spending time together, and set aside time each week—or even each day—for alone time. A person’s time is invaluable. Giving it to someone is a huge sign of respect.
Give compliments. Your partner needs to hear what you love about them, even if you’ve been together forever. Don’t assume they already know how you feel. Offering praise can bring you closer together and can strengthen your level of respect for each other. Complimenting your partner on what they do around the home shows you respect the sacrifice and the hard work they give you and the life you’ve built together. For example, "I really appreciate how you keep our family room clean and organized." Hearing these words of encouragement shows them you appreciate what they do. Demonstrate respect and appreciation by complimenting your partner on positive traits, too. These may include acts of thoughtfulness or even physical traits like their smile. For example, "I really like how you greet me with a smile when I come home."
Adopt a good attitude. You are likely polite to your parents, friends, and boss because you respect them. You probably wouldn’t think about giving them attitude or criticism. Adopt this same mentality for your partner. Choosing to be kind, gracious, and polite shows you respect them, which can make a world of difference in your relationship. Make it a point to be happy and encouraging around them, even if they aren’t doing the same. Tell them you love them and how happy they make you. They will likely exhibit the same behavior towards you, which can strengthen your bond.
Focus on your partner’s positives. It’s easy to concentrate on what your partner does wrong, particularly if you feel they are lacking in a few areas. Instead, try focusing on what your partner does right or is good at. Hearing positive words instead of negative will encourage them to keep up the good work and shows that you value them. Look for the best in your partner and realize that they are imperfect, just like you. Speak to them the way you would like to be spoken to and you may see an improvement in your relationship. For example, "Thanks for listening while I talked about my work stress."
Be honest. Honesty is at the foundation of a positive, healthy relationship. Being honest strengthens your bond with your partner and shows that you are trustworthy. Tell the truth to your partner, even when it's painful to hear. Inspire honesty in your relationship by having your actions match your words. For instance, don't say "I'm happy" if you're not. Demonstrate honesty by truly divulging your feelings. You might say, "To be honest, I'm a bit sad that we won't get to spend our anniversary together." When you exhibit honesty, your partner will feel obliged to do the same.
Forgive. When you love someone, you have to be willing to give them the benefit of the doubt. This may mean forgiving them and expecting them to do the right thing, even after they have hurt you. Holding grudges can create a toxic relationship environment. Practice forgiveness with your partner and you both will benefit from a more positive bond. The biggest part of forgiveness is being able to let go of the painful emotions that may be associated with the betrayal. Forgiveness comes easier when you employ empathy in your viewpoint of your partner. Take a step back and try to view the situation from your partner's point-of-view. Can you see some rationale behind their behavior? Maybe they were ashamed or scared to tell the truth. Doing this doesn't excuse the negative behavior, but it does help you see your partner as human and capable of mistakes. Work on not continually bringing up the same issue--even if it is still not corrected. In the meantime, continue to be kind and complimentary in other areas.
Respecting Your Children
Allow them to help themselves. Let your child complete tasks for themselves. You show them you don’t think they are capable of doing it themselves when you step in. Letting them accomplish things on their own shows you believe in and respect them. Choose age-appropriate tasks for your children to complete on their own. For instance, picking out their own clothes, dressing themselves, and brushing their teeth are good options for younger children. Allow older children to make their own food, complete job applications, and drive themselves, if they are capable.
Validate their feelings and opinions. Children come up with and express a variety of different emotions. You may not agree with some of them. You should still show that you accept they have these feelings and thoughts and not shut them down. Tell them you understand what they are saying to you. For instance, you could say, “Not being able to go to the movies when your friends are is upsetting, isn’t it? I’m sorry you are feeling this way.” Here, you’re validating what they feel, but you’re not giving in to your decision. You’re showing them you respect what they say, even if you don’t agree with it.
Model the behavior you want to see. Show your children the kind of respect you want them to show you. They may not know or understand what showing respect looks like. Displaying it towards them and those around you demonstrates how you want them to behave. For example, speaking kindly and being polite is an excellent way to show respect. Not constantly criticizing them and giving compliments also shows that you respect them. They will likely display this type of behavior after seeing you give it to them.
Avoid speaking for them. Adults often talk over children's heads like they're not even there. This can come off as disrespectful, particularly when questions are being asked. Allow your child to answer their own questions and speak up during a conversation. Speaking for them shows that you don’t trust that they know what they’re talking about. If someone asks you a question about your child say, “Ask them. They would know better than I do.” Your child will likely feel proud that they are given the chance to answer for themselves. It also shows that you believe they are capable of doing that.
Correct behavior calmly and consistently. Kids need structure and discipline to understand appropriate behavior. However, yelling or having an outburst when they act up, doesn't support positive behavioral traits. To create a sense of respect and rule-following, make it your business to be compassionate yet consistent when correcting misconduct. Instead of lecturing or getting angry, find a reasonable response to kids' whining or complaining like "That's the rule." If you must, validate their feelings with something like, "I know you were hoping to eat dinner in front of the TV to watch the show, but we'll have dinner at the table like always. That's the rule." If your kids are attention-seeking with bad behavior, don't offer a reaction. Instead, praise positive behaviors. For instance, if you see them sharing, you might say, "Oh, that makes me so happy to see you two sharing your toys. Great manners!"
Respecting Your Roommate
Keep things clean. Not keeping common areas and your own space clean is usually a big problem among roommates. Not only is it disrespectful, but it shows your roommate you expect them to clean up after you. This is often a huge cause of conflict among people who live together. Always clean up after yourself when you use the bathroom, including toothpaste and hair in the sink. Additionally, tidy up the kitchen after you cook and eat. Pick up any messes you make, and vacuum and dust often. Showing respect in this way can make your living situation that much more pleasant.
Designate a time for quiet. Having loud guests over late shows your roommate you don’t care about their need for sleep. Avoid this issue by setting ground rules about this when you first move in together. Abide by them once they are established. Don’t be afraid to confront your roommate if they aren’t respecting quiet time. You could say, “I’m not trying to get in the way of you spending time with your friends, but they are staying later than what we agreed on. Would you mind having them leave by the time we discussed?” You may need to renegotiate the conditions—and your living situation—if your roommate doesn’t comply.
Give them their privacy. You likely don’t want your roommate to barge into your room and use your things, so don’t do that to them. Ask before entering their space or before you borrow something. Invading your roommate's privacy is extremely disrespectful. Put a lock on your room if you don’t trust your roommate. Although doing so shows your roommate that you don’t trust them, it’s better than having your privacy invaded. It also prevents you from having to confront your roommate about stealing, which can make your living situation extremely awkward.
Pay your bills. Come up with a plan for how you are going to pay the bills. You may suggest splitting everything down the middle or having each person responsible for certain bills. Then, pay your bills on time. Making your roommate wait for your money is disrespectful.
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