How to Play Presidents and Assholes

Setting up the First Round

Gather at least 4 players around a table for the game. To play Presidents and Assholes, you need at least 4 players. You can have up to 7 players if you’re using a standard 52-card deck. If you want to play with 8 or more players, you’ll need to use 2 standard decks of cards. Note: Make sure to find a flat surface that all of the players can comfortably fit around to play the game.

Designate seats for each player that vary in comfort level. Put a large, comfy chair at the head of the table, a few regular chairs around it, and keep an uncomfortable seat like a crate or cardboard box nearby. This uncomfortable seat is reserved for future Assholes. The President will always get the nice chair!

Choose a player to be the dealer for the first round. For the first round, you can choose anyone to be the dealer. In subsequent rounds, the Asshole (the loser of the previous round) will deal the cards.

Deal all of the cards out to the players. The dealer should take both Jokers out of the deck and shuffle the cards. Then, they will equally disperse the cards clockwise around the table to the players, starting with the player to their left.

Pick up your pile of cards and look at what you have. Once the cards are dealt, all of the players should pick up their cards and look at them. You might want to arrange them in a particular way or put like with like to stay organized during gameplay. Don't let your opponents see your cards!

Rank cards in descending order from Ace to 4. Aces are the highest ranking cards in the deck. From there, the cards are ranked in descending order from King, Queen, Jack, 10, 9, 8, 7, 6, 5, and 4. Fours are the lowest ranking cards in the deck. Twos and threes are special cards and aren't included in the rank. You can clear a round by playing a 2 and use threes as wild cards.

Disregard the card suits and colors. For Presidents and Assholes, the card suits don’t matter. Red and black can also be disregarded. Your only concern is the rank of the cards. Higher ranks always trump lower ranks. The objective for each player's turn is to play the highest ranking card or cards needed to trump the previous play.

Playing the First Round

Play a single card or set of cards face-up to start the game. The player to the left of the dealer goes first. The player should play a high ranking single card face-up on the table. They can also play a set of cards of equal rank, like a pair or 3 of a kind. For example, they might play a single Queen or a pair of sevens. After placing their cards face-up on the table, their turn is over.

Proceed taking turns moving clockwise around the table. Each player will take a turn separately—there will be no simultaneous gameplay. When it’s your turn, play your cards. When you're done, the next person plays their cards. Continue like this until someone runs out of cards.

Play a higher card or set of cards to beat the previous play. If the person before you plays a single 9, you will need to play a 10 or higher to beat their play with a single card. You can also beat their play by playing a matching set of cards, like a pair or 3 of a kind. If the person before you played a set of cards, you must play a set of higher ranking cards to beat their play. For example, you could beat a single 9 by playing a pair of eights or 3 Jacks. If the player before you plays a pair of sixes, you must play a pair of sevens or higher.

Play a 2 to clear the table and start a new round. Any player who plays a 2 face up during their turn clears the table. This means that no matter what cards are already on the table, the table is cleared and a new round begins. Whoever plays the 2 gets to go first in this new round. You might play a 2 to clear the table when you don't have cards to beat the previous play. Once the table is cleared, you can play whatever you want. You should play your lowest card or cards after you clear the table so that you can get rid of them.

Play a single 3 as a wild card or 2 threes to clear the table. Threes are wild cards and can be played as any value except 2. If someone plays 2 threes, this will clear the table and start a new round (just like when a 2 is played). If you need to beat a pair of Queens but you only have 1 King in your hand, you can play the King and 3 together to create a pair of Kings. A pair of Kings beats a pair of Queens. If you have a pair of threes in your hand but you don't have any twos, you can clear the table with the threes. Then, try to get rid of the lowest card or cards in your hand to start gameplay again.

Take a drink of your beer if you can’t play a card when it’s your turn. If a player is not able to play a card, they must take a drink of their beer and pass their turn to the next player. A person can also choose to pass their turn, but they still have to take a drink. Beer is the best alcoholic beverage for this drinking game. Playing with hard liquor or wine will get everyone drunk too quickly!

Finishing Round 1 and Competing in Subsequent Rounds

Get rid of your cards first to win the round and become President. The objective of Presidents and Assholes is to run out of cards. The player who plays all of their cards first wins the round and becomes President. The other players are given a social rank in the order that they run out of cards.

Continue playing the round until everyone runs out of cards. Social rank for the next round is decided based on the order the remaining players run out of cards. After the President, the next player to run out is the Vice President. The other players are deemed Citizens, except for the last person to run out. The last person is the Asshole and loser of the round.

Switch chairs according to rules of social rank. For the next round, the players should move seats so that they’re seated clockwise in order of rank. The President gets the comfy chair at the head of the table, the Vice President sits to the President's left, and so on. The Asshole sits to the President's right, preferably on a crate or cardboard box. For the new round, the Asshole is responsible for shuffling and dealing the cards, getting the other players fresh drinks, and any other demeaning tasks those of higher social rank decide on.

Have the Asshole deal out the cards to start the next round. The Asshole will deal the first card of the new round to the President and proceed clockwise from there. After dealing out the cards, the Asshole has to give their highest card to the President.

Have the President play the first card or set of cards to start the round. During this round, players can tell those of lower social rank to drink whenever they want to. The President can tell anyone to drink at any time. Of course, no one can tell the President to drink. Anyone can tell the Asshole to drink at any time! A new President, Vice President, and Asshole are declared for each round.