Showing Kindness and Respect
Invite them to provide input on different options involving their care. Try not to assume what your charge wants and doesn’t want, even if you’re an experienced caregiver. Whether you’re changing the thermostat or setting out fresh linens, make an effort to include your ward in the different tasks that you do for them. If you include your charge in more decisions, they’ll feel like they have more autonomy and control over their day-to-day schedule and routine. For instance, try saying something like this: “I brought in fresh towels for your room. Would you like me to put them on the sink, or over the towel bar?” If your ward doesn’t have a personal preference, use your best judgment to determine what they would or wouldn’t like.
Engage them in friendly and welcoming conversation. Come up with friendly talking points as you work on different household tasks throughout their room. Don’t feel like you have to talk about anything specific—instead, just ask about the weather or their favorite sports team. If you spend time around them without saying anything substantial, your behavior might come off as dehumanizing. For example, try making conversation like this: “I heard it’s going to snow tonight! Are you a fan of all this cold weather?” If your ward likes a particular hobby, try to make conversation about that.
Respect their religious and cultural preferences. Cast your own spiritual and cultural beliefs aside whenever you spend time with your charge. Listen to them when they talk about their personal philosophies and beliefs and don’t try to offer any criticism or judgment. Instead, try to engage with them in conversation about these beliefs so you can better understand them. For instance, if your charge talks a lot about Catholic rites, try asking questions related to the Catholic Church. Ask something like: “What’s your favorite part about Mass?” Avoid any kind of question or comment that touches on how or why they believe something.
Listen to their requests attentively. Prioritize the requests of your charge, even if you’re in the middle of doing something else. If they ask for something important, try to complete their request as soon as possible. If you’re in the middle of an important task, let your ward know that you’ll help as soon as you’re finished with what you’re working on. For instance, if you’re in the middle of cleaning something in your charge’s room, physically pause when they ask you for assistance. This shows that you value their needs and that you care about what they have to say.
Speak to them in a polite and engaged tone of voice. Always speak to your charge in the same way that you’d like to be spoken to. Would you like to be addressed in a bored and unfocused tone of voice, or in an interested and respectful tone? Extend your ward with common conversational courtesies by speaking to them in a way that views them as a person, not a task to be completed. Eye contact is a great way to show that you’re listening and engaged to what someone is saying. Don’t try and talk in an over-excited tone of voice, or in the way that you’d address a child or pet. At the end of the day, your charge is a human being who would like to be treated as such.
Maintain patient confidentiality with their health information. Don’t divulge any stories or patient information from your workday. Even if your charge has no way of knowing what you discuss in your off-hours, you don’t want to violate the atmosphere of trust and privacy that you’ve created throughout the day. Keep any stories and tidbits about your charge to yourself, instead of using them as a conversation starter. Divulging a patient’s medical information is against the law. If you’re caught sharing that kind of info, you could end up in serious trouble.
Don’t leave them unattended while you’re on duty. Try not to leave the area too much, unless you’re running a quick errand to another room or nearby area. While you’re there to attend to your charge’s basic needs, you also want to address their emotional wellbeing. Do your best to stay in the general vicinity of your ward, so they don’t feel lonely or isolated throughout the day. If you need to leave for an extended period of time, be sure to tell your charge before leaving. Always try to have clear communication with your ward about where you’re going and where you’re going to be.
Providing a Safe, Healthy, and Private Environment
Present their food in an appetizing way. Don’t make your ward feel like they’ve received a tray of cafeteria food. Instead, create a nice arrangement on their table, tray, or eating surface. Try to make their food look fresh and partitioned by separating side dishes from the main course. Additionally, spread out their silverware next to their plate instead of clumping it in a single area. For instance, try putting the fork on the left side of the plate and the knife and spoon along the right side. If you have a say in the food that your ward gets served, request meals made with fresh ingredients.
Avoid making assumptions about their hygiene. Try not to make guesses about how clean or dirty someone’s living space is, or how often they prefer to take a shower or bath. As you interact with your charge, remember that you are both 2 different people with different priorities and routines. Instead of acting judgmental, respect your ward’s choice of how clean or messy they choose to leave their room, and how often they choose to clean themselves. Individuals with less mobility might not be able to take care of themselves or their surroundings very well.
Assist them with toileting and bathing tasks. Try keeping a mental schedule of when your charge uses the restroom, and how often they bathe. When your charge is using the toilet or preparing to get into the shower or tub, ask them if they need help removing their clothing. Help out with extra tasks as needed, or if your ward looks like they’re having extra difficulty with a certain part of the hygiene process. Give your charge plenty of time when using the restroom, so they can fully use the toilet. Have a section of toilet paper ready in case your charge needs it. Pay attention to how much your ward drinks throughout the day. Remind them not to worry about having an accident, and to drink lots of fluids as normal.
Watch your body language during your interactions. Be mindful of how you look and react to your charge throughout your various duties. Avoid looking uncomfortable or disgusted when helping with hygiene tasks, as this can create feelings of shame and discomfort in your ward. Additionally, try to keep your posture open, so you don’t appear closed off to your charge. For example, don’t wrinkle your nose or make a disgusted expression if you’re helping your charge use the restroom.
Ask them what they’d like to wear. If your job involves grooming and dressing your charge, don’t automatically choose their outfit on your own. Instead, ask your ward which clothing items they’d like to wear. If your ward is especially indecisive, try offering them different options from their closet. Even if your charge wears a similar outfit each day, they’ll appreciate the freedom to choose their clothes. Try saying something like this: “Since it’s going to be cold today, would you like to wear a jacket or cardigan?”
Provide extra privacy in crowded environments. Pay attention to the surroundings of your charge. If they’re situated in a more public area, like a hospital bed, focus on making the area feel private and secure before performing any hygiene-related tasks. Pull any available privacy curtains around your charge’s bed, and ask your ward if there’s anything you can do to make them feel more secure and comfortable. If your charge has issues with privacy, see if you can move them to a more secure location.
Look away whenever they’re getting dressed. Remind yourself that your charge is a human being with their own sense of privacy and modesty. Unless they explicitly ask or need your help, make an obvious effort to turn the other way while they clothe themselves. If you are helping them get dressed, try not to look at their private regions in the process. Don’t assume that your charge needs help getting dressed. Ask them beforehand if they’re comfortable with putting their own clothes on.
Respect their personal space and boundaries. Don’t rifle through your charge’s clothing or other personal items without permission. If you’re trying to find something in the room, ask your ward first—even if your intentions aren’t bad, it will look inconsiderate if you go through their belongings without permission. Always ask before looking through or touching their personal items. Try saying something like this: “I was hoping to wipe off the top of your dresser. Would it be okay if I moved these pictures to the side?”
Identify moments of physical pain and discomfort discreetly. Take note of your charge’s physical tics. If your charge is in pain, they might feel ashamed, or just not want to admit it; in these cases, you might need to initiate the conversation. Instead of jumping to conclusions, politely ask your ward if everything is okay, and if there’s anything you can get for them. For instance, your charge might wince when they’re suffering from chronic pain. If they don’t comment on how they’re feeling, ask your ward something like this: “Would you like me to grab you a heating pad?”
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