How to Find Somewhere to Sit at Lunch

Finding a Group of Friends

Look around for a group of friends. Do you see a group of your friends sitting together? Or do you see people with whom you're friendly? Take a minute to scan the lunchroom and look for familiar faces. Try to stand somewhere that's not in the way of other people getting their lunches. Depending on the norms of your lunchroom, you might want to get food before you sit down or put your stuff down first and then get food afterward. This decision depends on what people in your lunchroom normally do. If everyone gets their food before they sit down, then you should do the same. But if people get to lunch at different times and you want to put your backpack down to save a seat, you can do that, too. Gauge the situation when you arrive at lunch to see what is easiest and most natural. Try not to look too nervous. Take three deep breaths. You don't want to seem anxious or stressed; instead, smile and focus on the meal you're about to eat and the people you want to enjoy a conversation with. Even if you are nervous, smile and stand up straight. When looking for a group of your friends, think outside the box. Consider people who are in your classes or in your activities or clubs at school. You should also consider people in other grades and people you know from outside of school, like your siblings, church group members, and teammates. You could even sit with a teacher whose company you enjoy.

Walk up to them. Once you've found your friends, walk up to them and see if there is an empty chair. If there is no empty chair, you might want to find a different place to sit.

Ask to sit with them. Smile. See if they are having a private conversation or look like they are upset. If they are, you might not want to sit with them because they might need privacy. If not, though, ask to sit with them. Try saying, “Hey guys! Good to see you. Can I sit with you?” Or, “Hello! Is anyone sitting here? Can I?” If you only know a couple of people in the group, talk to the people you know first, and then introduce yourself to the other people. You can say, "Hi, I'm Hannah! I'm Bella's friend from physics. What's your name?" Talking to new people about your mutual friends is a great conversation starter with new people. Prepare for rejection, just in case. If someone tells you that they can't sit with you, say something like, "Okay, no worries. See you around!" Keep in mind that rejection isn't the end of the world, but you should mentally prepare yourself.

Sit down and eat your lunch. Enjoy your friends' company while you eat your meal. If you want to, make plans to eat lunch with them again the next day. If your friends seem busy or say that you can't sit with them, don't get discouraged. Focus on where else you want to sit. Does anyone else in the lunch room look nice? Who would enjoy your company? If you want to continue eating lunch with these people, you could ask, "Do you guys eat here every day? Would it be okay if I joined you tomorrow, too?" If they say yes, then sit with them again the next day. If they say no, try not to be discouraged; they might not eat lunch together every day. It's okay to float between groups on different days. Having lots of different friend groups is a great way to make sure that you have lots of different friends and get to spend time with different people. If you don't want to have a regular lunch table, that's okay! You can float between groups for as little or as long as you want.

Inviting Someone to Sit With You

Survey your options. Look at who might be open to sitting with you. Look for people who are also looking for somewhere to sit. They also might be surveying their options or milling around, looking for their friends.

Choose someone to ask. Pick someone who looks friendly and open to having a conversation with you. Do not choose someone who is already sitting at a full table or who is engaged in conversation. You might choose a total stranger, but you also might pick someone you know marginally. Maybe you see someone in your chemistry class whom you've never talked to before, or maybe you see someone who looks like they're about your age but whom you've never met. You can also ask someone to sit with you at lunch earlier in the day. For example, you could see your friend in math class and say, "Want to meet for lunch? Let's meet up at the corner table with our food around 12:30!" Make sure that you say an exact time and really specific location so that you're not left wandering around, looking for your friend.

Walk up to that person. Make an effort to look kind and approachable. Here are some ways that you can make yourself seem friendly and open: Don't cross your arms. Turn towards the person. Smile. Make good eye contact.

Ask them to sit with you. See if the person wants to walk to a table with you and sit down. Here are some ways you could ask: If you know the person a little bit, say, “Hi, I think we're in the same chemistry class! Do you want to sit down together?” Or, if the person is a total stranger, say, “Hi! Do you have somewhere to sit? Would you like to sit with me?” Or, “Hi! I don't know anybody here. My name is Hannah. Would you like to sit with me and eat lunch?” If the person says yes, sit down with them and eat lunch. If the person says no, try not to be offended! They might have made plans with another person, or maybe they want to eat lunch by themselves that day.

Sitting By Yourself

Find a place you'd like to sit. You have all the options in the world, but you might want to find a quiet table where no one else is sitting. Sit down there. Put your stuff down and spread out. Get your lunch out. Don't feel self conscious about sitting by yourself. Everybody at lunch is paying attention to their own social situations, rather than yours. Even if people do see you sitting alone, they will see it as a sign of confidence rather than isolation.

Eat your lunch. Do another activity simultaneously, if desired. You could read, play a game on your phone, or do a crossword puzzle. If not, just enjoy your lunch. Eat as slowly or quickly as you want to.

Look up every so often, to see if someone wants to sit with you. Someone might be looking desperately for a lunch companion, and, if you would like to, you could wave that person over to sit with you.