What does fumble mean in relationships?
In relationships, a fumble is a mistake that hurts the relationship. When you fumble someone in a relationship, it means that you made a mistake in your communication or actions that led to the end of the relationship and that you’re missing out on a good romantic prospect. When it comes to romance, you can fumble anyone you’re interested in, from a crush to a partner to that one situationship where you weren’t entirely sure what the status was. Taking another person out to dinner romantically when you and a potential partner have already talked about being exclusive would be considered a fumble, especially if your potential partner is more attractive than the other person. Flirting with someone at the bar but failing to get their number would be considered a fumble. Getting to know your crush but saying something that gives them the ick would be considered fumbling. The term is most commonly used in football, but was first used to describe relationships on social media in the late 2010s.
How to Use Fumble
Use fumble when someone does something that leads to the end of your relationship. When someone does you wrong in a relationship, whether it be cheating, lying to you, or going behind your back, tell them that they fumbled if that action was what caused you two to split. You don’t have to know if what they did was a mistake or not, the point is that they messed up and lost their chance with you. For example: Your Partner: “Babe, I’m sorry! I didn’t know taking her out to dinner was that serious! She doesn’t even compare to you!” You: “Obviously it’s serious. And I know she doesn’t compare to me. Don’t be sorry now that you know you fumbled.”
Use fumble when you make a mistake that leads to the end of your relationship. When you’re the one who cheated, lied, went behind your partner’s back, or did something else that led to the end of the relationship, say that you fumbled. The mistake could have been something you knew was wrong in the moment or something you only realized was wrong after the fact. For example: Your Friend: “I saw your ex’s latest Instagram post and it seems like she’s doing good, man! She just got into law school and is moving to a new city!” You: “Good for her! Man, I fumbled hard. I can’t believe we broke up just because I didn’t see how amazing she was.”
Where does fumble come from?
The term fumble was used to describe relationship mistakes as early as 2019. On June 10th, 2019, X (formerly Twitter) user @lucyirene_ tweeted “average a** dudes fumbling stupid bad b****. Hate to see it.” It didn’t start to spread until 2021, when X users like @ihyjuju made tweets like “fumbling a bad b**** really the worst feeling ever,” which went viral and earned thousands of likes. Although the term gained popularity on social media, it’s also frequently used in real life to describe specific relationship situations.
How to Know If You’re Fumbling
Your partner becomes less intimate. One sign that you’re fumbling your partner is when they start to pull back when it comes to intimacy. While they may have once greeted you with a kiss every morning and a hug before going about their day, when you’re fumbling, they may only give you a brief “morning” before starting their day. If that’s the case, you may want to sit down and ask them what’s going on if you don’t want to fumble.
They give you less attention. According to dating coach Alysha Jeney, if you notice a girl you’re talking to flirting with your friends or other people around you and not really giving you much attention, that’s a sign she’s not interested. If she used to keep that flirting and attention to you but suddenly or seemingly abruptly changed, chances are you fumbled. See if there’s something (or someone) that’s taking up their attention when you start to notice this sign. Everyone has busy lives, so one late text isn’t grounds for a fumble. But, if your partner who used to always text first, stay on the phone for hours, and always wanted to hang out with you suddenly becomes distant without an explanation, that may be a sign you’re fumbling.
They flirt with other people in front of you. This is a big sign that you’re fumbling, and it usually means that you’re about to completely fumble. When someone flirts with other people in front of you, they’re either trying to make you jealous or show you that they no longer want to be with you. So if you see this alongside the other signs, chances are you’ve fumbled. If they’re flirting with other people to make you jealous, confront them and have a conversation with them about it. Tell them how it makes you feel and kindly ask that they stop if you’re exclusive.
What to Do If You Fumble
To move on, put yourself back out there, meet new people, and connect with yourself. Whether you fumbled someone you just started talking to or someone you’ve been talking to for a few months, put yourself back into the dating scene if you want to move on. Head out to bars and strike up conversations with people you find attractive. Or sign up for dating apps and start swiping on people you’re interested in. Don’t forget to take the time to focus on yourself, too. If you aren’t ready to see other people, take yourself on dates and do things that you love to keep your mind off the person you fumbled.
To get the person you fumbled back, focus on improving yourself. If you fumbled someone, there’s something you did to cause an issue in the relationship. So, to prove to the person you fumbled that you’re worth getting back with, focus on improving yourself to be a better person. Depending on what the issue was, you may need to focus on different areas of your life. For example, if you treated the person wrong, focus on learning how to treat people kindly and respect boundaries in a relationship. Don’t improve just to get the person back, either. Try to improve for your own sake, too! The person you fumbled may be able to notice if you’re just trying to improve to get them back, and it may seem insincere. If you fumbled because you were using them for money, get a job, learn money management, and pay for yourself. This will show that you’ve improved in that regard.
Other Meanings of Fumble
Fumble also means to drop the ball. This meaning is most popular in football, as it refers to a player dropping the ball, but it is also used as a term for any type of mistake that is considered a ball drop. For example, if you were about to secure a deal at work that nets you a lot of money but made a mistake that led to the deal being withdrawn, you fumbled the bag. Example: “Did you see how he finished his presentation? You can tell he didn’t study. Dude fumbled.” As a slang term, this meaning gained traction outside of football in 2017 when the rap group Migos rapped “you get the bag and fumble it” on their song “I Get The Bag.
Fumble also means to awkwardly handle something. This meaning of fumble is typically used to refer to awkward handling of an object. For example, if you’re looking for a certain key in the cold and your hands are shaking, making the keys hard and awkward to handle, you’re fumbling with your keys. Example: “Dude in the movie was so scared. He got to the door two minutes before the killer and spent the whole time fumbling with his keys. By the time the killer caught up to him, he barely got into the door.”
Other Relationship Slang Terms
Roster In relationships, a roster refers to a group of romantic prospects that a person is currently talking to. These people usually don’t know about each other, as they tend to serve different purposes for the person whose roster they’re a part of. For example, a roster may consist of one person for lavish dates, another person for physical intimacy, and another for emotional intimacy.
Benching In relationships, benching is when you keep someone (or they keep you) as a back-up on your roster because you’re interested in someone else. While benching does prioritize the person you’re currently interested in, it also makes the other people on your roster feel like a second choice, especially if you’re inconsistent or rarely available.
Rizz Rizz refers to charisma or charm in the romantic sense. It usually denotes how charismatic or charming a person is. For example, if someone is really good at getting dates with people and building romantic relationships with them, they have a lot of rizz.
Hard Launch In relationships, a hard launch is a clear, intentional announcement and reveal of a new relationship on social media. It’s usually through a picture or video that shows off your partner. A hard launch can be an Instagram story of you and your new partner, or it can be a TikTok post showing off your partner in all their glory.
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