Joke around about their "absentmindedness". For example, if your friend chronically "forgets" her wallet, assume that she will do so the next time you go out to dinner. Before you leave for the restaurant, smile and poke fun: "You sure you've got your wallet this time?" If they want to borrow something that probably isn't going to get returned, you can say something to the effect of "Pretty soon you're going to have my entire wardrobe!" Maintain a cheery disposition - the moocher should register that you're on to them, although that's not always enough to make them stop.
At a restaurant, ask for separate checks when you order. If the moocher tends to not order anything, but then picks incessantly at your dish, cough lightly on your food and say something like "You might not want to eat these nachos... I think I might be getting the flu. Why don't I order you a separate dish?" When you order, ask for that dish to be on a separate check. If your friends might think that's poor etiquette, say something like "I'm writing it off as a business expense; I have to have separate receipts in case I screw up and get audited!" Casually mention on your way out to eat that you only brought enough money to pay for yourself. Or say when you're planning the outing that everyone will be paying for themselves. Make sure you stick to this when the bill comes!Deal With a Mooching Friend Step 2Bullet1.jpg
Get to the root of their financial woes. Sometimes people are genuinely in a pinch, but if you're reading this, the moocher in question is probably someone who chronically looks for a free ride, and who you suspect is too lazy or cheap to pull their own weight. Every time they're short on cash, make it a point to bring up his or her money issues in private, shortly afterward. Approach the matter delicately, but make it clear that you've noticed their pattern, so that they don't feel like their mooching can slip under the radar: I've noticed, lately, that you've been having a hard time pitching in when we go out. Is everything OK?Deal With a Mooching Friend Step 3Bullet1.jpg I'm a little worried about you; you seem to be short on cash, even though you just got a job/raise. Did something happen?Deal With a Mooching Friend Step 3Bullet2.jpg
Assign the moocher a fair share in advance. If you're planning a road trip or dinner party, sketch out who will bring what. Make a list, and ask the mooching friend what he or she will bring. If they lament their financial situation, empathize and ask them to bring one of the less expensive items, or suggest that they cook something (which is always cheaper, but at least it requires effort). Once moochers see their names on a list, it won't be as easy to skimp. Just make sure that whatever they're responsible for bringing, they're the only ones responsible for it, so that if they don't, it'll be noticeable to everyone involved. This will also work for that co-worker or sibling or friend who doesn't chip in for a community gift (for a parent, boss, etc.) yet still wants to sign his/her name for the card. Make a list!Deal With a Mooching Friend Step 4Bullet1.jpg If you have a mooching roommate, put up a whiteboard outlining chores and costs. Cross off an item whenever someone completes their task or pays their obligation. This will make it obvious that the moocher never crosses anything off.Deal With a Mooching Friend Step 4Bullet2.jpg
Mention that it's the moocher's turn to treat. This is where it starts to get a little more confrontational. If the moocher turns you down somehow, or seems to blow the question off, you must threaten to cancel the event, and mean it. Since I drove last time, can you do it this time around? - Oh, you can't? Well, OK. I'm having second thoughts about going, anyway.Deal With a Mooching Friend Step 5Bullet1.jpg I covered the tab last week, can you cover it this week? - If you can't, that's fine. Maybe we should find something else to do. Can you cover a game of pool?Deal With a Mooching Friend Step 5Bullet2.jpg Since last time we had lunch/dinner at my house, do you want to do it at your house this time? - Well, if we can't pin down a host, we might need to cancel the get-together. I can host once in a while, but not all the time.Deal With a Mooching Friend Step 5Bullet3.jpg
Turn the tables. Since there have been plenty of times when you helped them out, test them and see if they'll return the favor. Mooch off of them. "Forget" your wallet, ask them to loan you money, borrow their clothes, and see what happens. It may feel unnatural for you, but you might really discover your friend's true colors by doing this. Don't wait until you're really in a pinch, only to discover that many of your friends will leave you high and dry.
Address any mutual friends. If you have mutual friends with the moocher, you may want to speak with them about the moocher's behavior in as diplomatic a way as possible. It's best if you can present a united front. For example, say "Joe's a really cool guy, and he's a lot of fun to hang out with, but I've noticed he really doesn't pitch in whenever we go out as a group, and I'm worried that it will put a strain on our friendship. It would be great if we could do something about it so we don't have to have problems." If you don't want to (or can't) drop the friendship, you might need to have some kind of intervention. Financial issues can tear people apart, so don't let your friend's mooching habits ruin your relationship.
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