How to Be Proud to Be Black

Loving Who You Are

Embrace personal traits beyond your appearance. Find the character traits or personal strengths that you like about yourself. Give yourself credit for them. You have inherent value as a person, and you need to start highlighting all that you are. Of course, this includes your skin color, but also other less-noticeable traits, such as how you treat others, your intelligence, your goals, and your personal values and beliefs. Sure, being black is a huge part of who you are, but it’s not the only and maybe even not the most important part. It depends on you. Make a list of all the things you enjoy about yourself excluding any characteristics relating to your appearance. Your list might include attributes like persistence, compassion, friendliness, intellect, kindness, or hard-working. Pin this list in your car's visor or attach it to a notepad or something you see daily. Take the time to regularly reminisce on all your great qualities.

Define beauty by your own terms. Now that you have identified which characteristics about yourself make you awesome and valuable irrespective of race, consider your physical appearance. You may have been raised in an area in which black beauty was not recognized as such. You may have begun to view yourself as the “other”, as if your own looks were unacceptable compared to what’s being portrayed in the TV or in magazines. If you could close your ears to society, what would you truly think about your skin color and other physical features? Go and stand in front of your mirror. Take a good long look at your reflection. Pay attention to your thoughts about yourself. Are they judging or critical? Aim to shut them off, and instead view yourself through the lens of a mother or a lover. What would this person say about your appearance? Whenever you examine your appearance, strive to shut off that part of yourself that is comparing it to what’s depicted in the media. Look at yourself as if for the first time. Now, what is it that you truly like about yourself? Is it your pouty lips, wide nose, kinky hair, or smooth-as-coffee complexion?

Find a black role model you admire. A great way to adopt a greater sense of pride for your race and culture is to find someone who represents it well. This individual(s) can be anyone, from anywhere. It can be a parent, a teacher, a coach, or someone you don’t know like a famous person. Know that you have just as much potential to affect the world around you as these individuals. You matter, too. If you are into entertainment, your role model could be Michael Jackson, Kobe Bryant, Beyoncé Knowles, Denzel Washington, Will Smith, Martin Lawrence, Morgan Freeman, Hale Berry, Jamie Foxx, Jimi Hendrix, Aretha Franklin, India Arie… the list is endless. If you are looking for an intellectual or philosophical role model, consider Toussaint Louverture, Booker T Washington, Jean-Jacques Dessalines, Marcus Garvey, James Baldwin, Angela Davis, Malcolm X, Kwame Nkrumah, Martin Luther King, Jr., Stuart Hall, Nelson Mandela, Wole Soyinka, Toni Morrison, and, of course, Barack Obama.

Talk to your parents or someone else about your feelings. It could be helpful to share your feelings with someone who cares about you—a parent, sibling, or close friend. Be honest in how you are feeling. Ask the person if he or she has ever felt similarly. Listen carefully to the responses. If your confidants, too, once had trouble feeling pride in their racial background, they may be able to relate to what you are going through. What’s more, these people may be able to offer helpful solutions as to how they developed a sense of pride in their blackness.

Accepting Your Cultural Heritage

Learn more about your personal and cultural history. Doing research on your personal history can help you to develop a stronger understanding for how you and your family came to be in addition to the hardships your ancestors may have overcome. You can start by asking your parents or grandparents questions about your ancestry. Then, you may be able to conduct an internet search or get your genealogy completed online. Figuring out where your family came from can give you a better idea of who you truly are. If you are African American, your family may have come to this country during times of oppression and slavery. Remember that you are only here today because they survived these times and had children who carried their heritage onto the next generation, who also had to fight to continue their family. You are their legacy. You are what they fought to preserve for over 300 years, in a society that did not value the lives of black people. That is definitely something you should be proud of. If you are a dark-skinned person from another country of origin, learn about your people's ancestry. Ask your parents and grandparents to tell your stories about your family history so that you can better identify with your race and culture.

Consider the plight of your people. Changes in attitude towards blacks only occurred because of the brave people who stood up for the rights of themselves and others. They did not accept their fate as outcasts and demanded the respect they--and you-- deserve. Inform yourself about these historical figures from America and beyond, such as Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. and Nelson Mandela. Find modern, present-day writers and bloggers who are carrying on this fight to learn what’s happening today in terms of racial activism. Some examples of writers may include Ta-Nehisi Coates, Claudia Rankine, and Black Girl Dangerous.

Search for aspects of your culture that resonate with you. If you have trouble being proud of your black heritage, it may be due to the negativity that is frequently repeated in the media about people of color. Oftentimes, the good is not highlighted, only the bad. To counteract this, find meaningful contributions of black culture that you enjoy. Do you like African-American, Haitian, Jamaican, Somalian (or some other form of black culture) fashion, music, food, or dancing? You can represent pride in your heritage by taking on one of these positive contributions of the black culture that you like. Or, you can learn more about the history of these cultural symbols to gain a sense of pride.

Shake off the desire to disown your race or culture. Being proud to be black can be especially challenging when you are one of few in a certain profession, geographical location, or other group. Furthermore, this can be difficult when blacks are being portrayed negatively in the media. When your race is not being represented at all, or is being negatively represented, it may seem easier to adopt the habits of whites, who are more socially accepted. It can be very uncomfortable to stand out. However, you must overcome the desire to fit in if it means disowning who you are.

Overcoming Stereotypes

Understand colorism. Even amongst people of color, there exists a divide. Colorism involves placing a higher value on lighter skin than on darker-hued skin. It occurs within families and communities of people of color (that’s right, Hispanics and Asians deal with this issue, too), causing lighter-skinned individuals to be met with higher favor than darker-skinned individuals, who often are thought to be more authentic representations of a certain race. Colorism is the result of internalized pro-white beauty ideals and dates back to colonialism, inspiring feelings of inferiority and self-hate. Read about it. Think about how it has contributed to your perception of your body, skin, and hair.

Question why your skin color bothers you. In order to gain a true sense of pride in your blackness, you need to uncover the source of your shame. Do you live in a neighborhood where you are the only black person around? Are people mistreating you at school or at work? Are the role models you see on TV or in magazines all Caucasian and blond? Write down the reasons on a piece of paper. After writing down some of the reasons, evaluate them. Find the explanation for the occurrences that make you feel bad about yourself. For example, there is a vast under-representation of black people in the media, in magazines, movies, TV shows, and books—virtually everywhere. Your lack of pride is not something to be ashamed of. It is a normal human reaction to feel invisible and worthless if you cannot find anyone like you in the images surrounding you every day. This is harmful and wrong.

Seek access to people who are not prejudiced. Use the internet to connect to them. Read blogs about body positivity which represent black people and draw attention to their bodies and their inherent value. Remember that the bigoted people who state their opinions the loudest might attract the most attention, but that doesn't mean their beliefs are reflective of everyone else. One of the best ways to overcome prejudice is to try to spend more time with people who are different from you. Aim to make friends with someone from a different race. Doing so can help this person change their viewpoints of your race, and it may even sway some of your own beliefs about other races.

Stand up for yourself. Don't make it easy for the people who pick on you. If you believe them and have a low esteem of yourself, they are succeeding. Be indignant over being badly treated. Allow yourself to be angry. You don't deserve to be treated badly. If you are not sure how you can take a stand against racism, research local and national groups online who are raising awareness about these issues.