Accepting Your Single Life
Realize that being single is okay. It is common to become depressed or lonely after a tough breakup or when you are having trouble meeting the right person. If you are feeling desperate it may be time to step back from dating. The longer your dry spell, the more desperate you might be feeling. Take a break from dating. Give yourself time to recover from the past and wait until you can be a good partner to someone again.
Quit making jokes about being single. Even if these jokes are hilarious, they are a red flag that you are suffering from feelings of insecurity. Your self-deprecating jokes definitely aren't impressing anyone. While being a comedian is often a good trait to help you meet people, it might not happen if you make yourself out to be the joke.
Improve other aspects of your life. This is one of the best ways to help shake that desperate feeling. Try making a list of all the things you want to accomplish that have nothing to do with relationships and work on making them happen. Living a more fulfilled life will make you more appealing to a potential mate.
Meeting A Potential Mate
Be confident. Even if you don't feel very confident, take a minute to build yourself up before approaching a potential date. Envision the conversation going well in your mind. If you are going into a conversation expecting to be rejected, it will show in your body language. Make sure you make eye contact and stand up straight and speak clearly. It's great to plan a cool, confident outfit, but don't go too over-the-top. Make sure that it's comfortable—you don't want your feet to hurt after just 2 blocks!
Limit your drinking. Sometimes a drink or two might be necessary to loosen up your inhibitions enough to talk to a good looking guy, but know when to stop. Going over the line can lead to some embarrassing situations. Drinking too much impairs your judgement, including your ability to decide if you have met your dream guy or not.
Keep your emotional baggage in check. Nothing will make you seem more lonely and desperate than revealing everything about your past right away. You don't want to seem like you're on the rebound and desperate to feel validated.
Know when it is time to go. Just because you met a good looking person at a party and feel like you can talk to them all night does not mean you should. This is the time where you excuse yourself. Spend some time talking with your friends or meet some other new people. Just be patient and make your way back bit by bit. Leaving them wanting more and letting them see your whole life isn't going to crumble the second you stop talking together!
Being a Considerate Partner
Avoid being a social media stalker. A modest amount of social media stalking is pretty standard when you start dating someone, just keep it from getting creepy. You can secretly look at every photo of them for the last four years without scaring them off, but try to avoid making it obvious you're watching their every move. Limit your comments and likes to one or two a week. You should have better things to do, even if you don't have better things to do. On a similar note, don't spend time on dating apps or looking at other people before your date. Just focus on what's in front of you!
Let the relationship progress naturally. Desperate people often look to push the relationship too fast. Don't bring up topics like marriage or even make too many references to future dates early in the relationship. Desperate daters are often asking for continual status updates on the relationship and trying to push for more commitment in various ways. Just let things happen and if you are right for each other, it will work out in time.
Spend time with your friends. Just because you start dating someone, don't put aside your friends to spend all your time with them. Anyone that drops all their friends for a new date, will come off as very desperate. You can't make yourself too available and you don't want to come off as clingy. Staying true to yourself and your friends will set up healthy boundaries and expectations for a happy relationship. You could even ask a friend to be your "dating buddy." Instead of blowing the date out of proportion and telling the whole world about it, talk to your buddy about it instead.
Do not be clingy. By holding on too tightly, you can drive a love interest away. If the person is right for you and the relationship is going well, they will stick around. If it isn't meant to be, no amount of clinging is going to make it happen. Most of the time, it isn't even the person you're clinging to, it's the idea of needing a relationship.
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