Chatting Sh*t, Banging in Goals: The Return of Jamie Vardy, Premier League's Beloved Box-Office Fox

“The best present I’ve ever given someone is myself. I’ve given it to everyone.”

Say less, Jamie Vardy. You absolute gem.

The ability to chug a can of Red Bull at halftime and fly out the tunnel, to be the one to chat sh*t to his opponents and go on to bang one into the back of their net: there is aging like a fine wine, and then there is Vardy.

At 37 years of age, the wily striker is showing the Premier League that he’s still got it in him, and we football fans would want it no other way.

In an era of footballers concerned with showcasing flashy footwork, a seemingly distinguished demeanor for the cameras, and lofty ambitions of superstardom, Vardy stands firm, rooted with his feet on the ground: a salt-of-the-earth man who earned every single bit of fortune that the beautiful game has had to offer him, and one who took what he wanted from it too.

And when you talk about an absolute firecracker of an entertainer on and off the pitch, you better include Vardy in the conversation.

From his countless slag-offs to the opposition crowds to the hilariously misinterpreted moment of celebration where the man destroyed a corner flag with the Pride flag on it in his excitement, to him donning the ‘Chat Sh*t, Get Banged’ t-shirt during his title parade, he has provided innumerable memories and moments that Premier League watchers shall cherish for a lifetime.

Vardy’s rise to superstardom and his transition to cult hero status has been nothing short of a joy for us all to experience.

A huge factor as to why the striker is so beloved is the sheer lust for football he possesses. An imperishable itch for the game that every single hardcore fan could relate to.

From playing non-league football with his mates to scoring in the Champions League against some of the best to do it, his journey has been nothing short of the dream that each and every single one of us who watch the game desire for.

Released as a 16-year-old by Sheffield Wednesday, he played for Stocksbridge Park Steels, Halifax Town, and Fleetwood Town before signing for Leicester for a non-league reported record fee of £1M in May 2012, a small sum to pay for a lifelong legend.

Although often placed into the category of football players “that the streets will never forget”, one must realise that Vardy is more than just that.

Vardy is a colossus in the history of Leicester City, standing as their third-best goalscorer of all-time, after having made the third-most appearances ever for the Foxes as well.

But, what is it about him that makes him stand out? Well, funnily enough, it’s the fact the he doesn’t try to. Rather, he is a personification of “it’s never too late to try.”

The wily striker made his Premier League debut as a 27-year-old in August 2014, scoring the first of his current total of 137 Premier League goals three weeks later against Manchester United.

And just a year later, Vardy would be leading the scoring charts of the Premier League, as Leicester, under the guidance of Claudio Ranieri would go on to script history.

In the 2015/16 season, the Foxes would go on to clinch the PL title in utterly stunning fashion, leaving the world speechless. And it was none other than Vardy himself, who would lead from the front, spearheading the attack in what would be a record-breaking campaign for him personally.

Remember Ruud Van Nistelrooy? Well, this would be the moment for Vardy to oust him and write his name into the history books.

His humongous haul of 24 league goals in the title-winning season also included him setting a Premier League record of scoring in 11 successive games. The Leicester man would do so in some serendipitous fashion, scoring the record-breaking goal against United, against whom he scored his very first PL goal, and surpassing their very own Ruud Van Nistelrooy to lay claim over the record.

Without any doubt, the Englishman would win the hearts of all who watched and witnessed him, as he was named the Premier League Player of the Season, the Football Writers’ Footballer of the Year and was also named in the PFA Team of the Year.

Now, Leicester’s luck would fizzle out, as the Foxes would slump to mediocrity over the next few years, as the likes of Jurgen Klopp and Pep Guardiola would embark on their battle for supremacy, leaving the league biting the dust.

But, their main man Vardy would continue to shine, notching his 100th Premier League goal during the 2019/20 season, where he would go on to clinch the Golden Boot for the first time, at the young age of 33 years, becoming the oldest player to win the award.

Although Leicester would experience success in the form of an FA Cup win the next year, the Foxes would fall down to the Championship yet again in 2023, after a nine-year stint in the Premier League.

But, the Foxes would once again bounce back tremendously with an immediate turn-around to reclaim their rightful place in the top tier of English football. And yet again, the man who would lead them back to the PL would be none other than Vardy, who would rack up 18 goals in Leicester’s Championship title-winning run.

And, as fate would have it, there stood the now-veteran Vardy back in Premier League action yet again on Monday, knocking back a can of Red Bull at halftime, before he would go on to stick the ball in the back of the net for the 137th time in the Premier League, to draw level with Tottenham.

Now that he had banged in the goal, as the saying goes, it was time for him to chat. And so did Vardy, as the striker ever-so-politely reminded a raucous Spurs faithful that he was the proud winner of a Premier League title, one more than Tottenham have ever clinched in the history of their club.

Oh, and not to forget, he also then went on to tell Christian Romero to “f**k off”, just for good measure to end the night. A delectable slice of classic Jamie Vardy for all of us who were deprived of the same.

The Premier League is, was and always will be better with Vardy in it. But, just remember this PL fans: if you ever do chat sh*t to/about him, you might just get a goal banged into the back of your team’s net as well.