What Does “Spare the Rod, Spoil the Child” Mean?

• “Spare the rod, spoil the child” means that children will grow up to be maladjusted if you don’t discipline them when they’re young.
• The “rod” in question is not actually a tool to physically hit a child, but a shepherd’s crook used to guide and lead.
• The quote comes from an 18th century poem, although there’s a similar passage in the book of Proverbs.

What does it mean to “spare the rod, spoil the child”?

It’s an old adage about the importance of enforcing rules with kids. “Spare the rod, spoil the child” is a euphemism about the risks of not disciplining children. If a kid grows up without ever encountering negative consequences for bad behavior, they’ll be “spoiled.” Some people take this literally, meaning they’ll be spoiled, bratty, and rude. Others take “spoiled” to just mean “maladjusted.” To translate it into modern language, this euphemism basically translates to, “Children need consequences and boundaries to learn right and wrong.”

Some people mistakenly think the phrase is about physical discipline. A lot of people misinterpret the “spare the rod” part of the euphemism. They think the rod is a whipping cane or a bat and that “sparing the rod” means “not hitting kids.” The “rod” is actually a reference to a shepherd’s rod, though (called a crook). Shepherd crooks are those long canes with loops on the end. These rods aren’t used to hit sheep—that little loop at the end of the stick was actually used to pull sheep back into the flock whenever they’d wander off. Despite popular belief, there’s no real support for the idea that children need corporeal punishment in the Bible.

Is “spare the rod, spoil the child” in the Bible?

No, but Proverbs 13:24 expresses a similar idea. People often think “spare the rod, spoil the child” comes from the Bible. It doesn’t, but there are a few passages that come close to articulating the same idea. Proverbs 13:24 says, “He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him,” which basically communicates the same idea—children need boundaries, rewards, and punishments to help them mature and grow up. Proverbs 22:15 reiterates this idea—“Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline will drive it far from him.” If you have any doubts about the Bible’s stance on corporeal punishment, look to Ephesians 6:4, which says, “And you, fathers, do not provoke your children to wrath, but bring them up in the training and admonition of the Lord.”

Origin of the Phrase

The phrase originally appears in a 17th century poem by Samuel Butler. Samuel Butler was a novelist and critic in the 1800s. In his epic poem, “Hudibras,” he writes, “If matrimony and hanging go / By dest'ny, why not whipping too? / What med'cine else can cure the fits / Of lovers when they lose their wits? / Love is a boy by poets stil'd; / Then spare the rod and spoil the child” (839-844). In this passage, one character is trying to convince another to go to bed with them. The other character doesn’t want to, so they try and trick the other character to prove their worth by beating themselves with a rod. The funny thing here is that Butler’s poem is supposed to be ironic. The character saying “spare the rod and spoil the child” is talking to an adult, and there’s no real relationship between sleeping with someone and beating yourself up.

Facts on Discipline & Children

Children thrive when adults enforce consistent consequences. As hard as it may be to deal with a young child who’s upset about having to eat their vegetables or go to bed on time, it’s important. Creating boundaries and enforcing consequences helps children develop self-control, identify acceptable behavior, and mature in a healthy way. Time out is the proven option when it comes to immediate and impactful forms of punishment if you need help disciplining a child. Outside of time out, withholding rewards (like play time), scolding, and additional chores can all serve as productive forms of discipline.

Physical punishment is damaging and counterproductive. The debate over spanking and physical punishment is 100% over—it’s bad to hit children. Spanking a child statistically increases the odds they develop anxiety, depression, and mental illness later in life. It even changes a child’s brain development and increases how long it takes kids to mature. There’s zero evidence to suggest that corporeal punishment works, so do not strike your children. If anything, spanking is more likely to have the opposite of the intended effect, as it’ll increase the odds a child becomes aggressive in the future.