How to Stop Loving Someone

Distancing Yourself

End the relationship if you're still together. If you're trying to stop loving someone who you're currently with, it's time to break up with them. Whether this person doesn't love you back or if your relationship has taken a turn for the worse, sit them down and break the news gently but firmly. Say “Though I love you very much, it's time for me to move on. You told me that you don’t love me, and I'd like to have a relationship with someone who cares for me as much as I care for them.” You can also say “Though I love you very much, we haven't been happy for a long time. I cry more than I smile and I don’t think this is healthy. We can talk about it more, but I have made my decision.”

Limit seeing the person you love. When you're trying to move on from someone, spend as little time around them as you can. Drive a different route to work or walk an alternative way to class. If you have mutual friends, hang out with them less if you know the one you love will be around. If you work or have class together, only talk when necessary.

Unfollow, unfriend or block them on social media. Remember: out of sight, out of mind. Avoid seeing the person you love both in person and online. Block them from all your social media accounts so neither of you has access to one another. If you don’t want to block them, at least unfriend or unfollow them so you don’t have to see their posts in your newsfeed.

Cut off any unnecessary communication with them. Avoid speaking to this person even if they reach out to you. The less you communicate with them, the quicker you can fall out of love. However, it's necessary to communicate in some instances. If you have a child together, are working on a project at work, or if they are asking for their things back, you will need to talk. If you must talk, do so in a neutral location that won’t bring up old feelings, like a coffee shop. Be civil with them but avoid being too friendly. When you talk, it’s okay to be polite and ask how they’ve been, but get to the point of the conversation quickly. Say something like “I’m glad you’re doing well! So let’s talk about Josiah now. His first day of Pre-K is tomorrow and we need to make a schedule for picking him up every day.”

Avoid all your old spots. If the place where you first kissed or had your first date brings back memories, stay away from it. Though you can’t ever forget these times, there's no need to bring up old memories that might make this process more difficult.

Take a vacation if possible. If you can, get away for a bit. This will ensure that you don’t have to see the person you love at all for a few days. Take a solo vacation somewhere or go on a trip with friends or family. If money is tight, take a day trip instead. Go to a local beach or to a big city nearby to sightsee.

Coping with the Loss

Remove reminders of them from your environment. Have pictures of the two of you in your room? Throw them out or put them away. Have an old sweater of theirs that you keep in your closet? Donate it to charity. These little reminders can make it hard to get over someone, so box them up or toss them.

Focus on their flaws instead of the good times. You might be thinking of the laughter and fun that you shared with the one you love; instead, remember the not-so-good times. There’s a reason you don’t want to love this person anymore. Focus on what led you to this decision. Think about the time they were rude to your mother, made you cry on your birthday, or how selfish they were in general.

Meditate daily. It's likely that thoughts of the one you love are in your mind all the time. Meditation is a tool that you can use to clear your mind and bring peace to your life. Pick a time each day to sit down in a quiet space for at least ten minutes. Focus only on your breathing during this time. If you're inexperienced with meditation, you can download apps like Headspace or Calm.

Get support from your friends. Letting go of the love you have for someone is tough, but with a little help from your friends and family, you can do it. Rather than isolating yourself, call up a friend to talk. You can talk through your feelings for the person you’re trying to fall out of love with or just catch up on other things in your lives. Try not to call them too often upset about the relationship ending, however. No matter how good a friend they are, they won’t want to hear sad news all the time.

Talk to a therapist if you think you're depressed. If you've been trying to get over this person for months but can’t shake your feelings, consult with a therapist. If you feel that you can’t get out of bed or that you aren’t enjoying things like you used to, you might be depressed. Address it now so you can beat the blues.

Moving Forward with Your Life

Make lots of changes in your life. When trying to stop loving someone, reinvent yourself. View the old you as the person who was in love and create a new version of yourself who doesn’t have these same feelings. Update your wardrobe, home, and set new goals for yourself. Consider the following changes: Throwing out any clothing you haven’t worn in years and replacing it with new, stylish outfits. Moving or rearranging or updating your furniture. Updating your resume and applying for a higher ranking position.

Exercise to improve your mood. Not only is exercise good for the body, but it’s good for your mental health, too. Exercise releases endorphins which are natural mood boosters. Though letting go of love for someone is a sad process, hitting the gym will make you feel better. Do workout classes or run around your neighborhood with a friend.

Hang out with friends. Letting go of love for one person doesn’t mean that you can’t still show love to your family and friends. Spend some time connecting with them weekly to hang out, see a movie or get a drink. Getting out and about again will help you feel better and move on quicker.

Find a new hobby. During this process, keep yourself busy with fun activities. Try something you’ve always wanted to do or rededicate yourself to an old hobby. Use all the free time that you’ll have from letting go of this person to invest in your own fun. You can do things like dance, read, ride horses, cook, or paint.

Go out on dates again. Once you’ve fallen out of love and no longer think of the person every day, get back out there. Ask your friends to introduce you to other singles they know or consider an online dating service. And remember, no matter how tough this is, you got it! Though new relationships are exciting, avoid rebounds. Don’t start going out on dates until you have moved on completely. Some signs that you’ve moved on are crying less often, not thinking of them when you wake up or go to bed, and not getting emotional when you hear your old songs.

Be patient. Getting over someone you once loved takes time and a good amount of emotional effort. You should limit the time you spend thinking about the relationship, but if thoughts of the person creep in now and again, don’t panic. You’re only human.