Planning the Sleepover
Carefully select guests for the sleepover. Your son should have some input of course, but be careful not to let him invite too many boys, or to invite any boys you know to be troublesome. Be sure to have all of the boys’ contact information so you can talk to their parents beforehand and make sure they’re comfortable spending the night.
Choose the best day and time for the sleepover. Ideally sleepovers should happen on a Friday or Saturday night. Friday can be good because the boys will be tired from a day full of school and might actually get some sleep. Keep in mind some families might have obligations for religious or sporting events, and expect their sons back early in the morning. Begin the sleepover at a reasonable time. For example, start with dinner around 6:00 PM so the boys will have ample time for fun and still go to bed an appropriate hour, usually midnight or 1 AM at the latest.
Warn other members of the household what to expect. If there are other younger siblings, you might ask a relative to host them overnight so they are not overwhelmed by the activities of their brother and his friends. Try putting younger siblings to bed early in case they try and pester the sleepover guests.
Gather some snacks and supplies. As a host you are responsible to provide food for your son's guests. Always ascertain what dietary restrictions the boys may have so you can plan food accordingly and make sure everyone has snacks they can enjoy. Ask your kid what he would especially like, and go shopping together once you have a plan. Finger foods and dry foods are encouraged as you can easily clean up with a vacuum. For example: popcorn, pretzels, chips, crackers, etc. Make or order a dinner that they'll eat at the table but which is easy to serve and clean up. Use paper plates if you can. Pizza is a great example of an easy dinner. Consider healthy options. Consider ordering a thin-crust pizza with cheese and spinach, or serve up homemade sweet potato fries instead of fast food. Serve a simple and easy breakfast before you get them out the door: cereal, muffins, bagels, etc.
Have a plan for getting everyone home early the next morning. Know before the sleepover if they will be picked up or you will drop them off or both. See if any of the boys live close to each other so you can arrange carpooling options. Some parents may be late in picking up their child, so make sure to make them feel welcome while they wait.
Establishing Ground Rules
Run through the rules with your son beforehand. When you come up with a set of clearly defined rules for the sleepover be sure to talk with your son about them to make sure he understands. Ask him if he thinks if the rules are fair and if has any suggestions for additions or alterations to the list.
Inform the company of the rules after they show up. After dinner is a good time to talk about rules so they understand boundaries before playing. There are a variety of rules you should consider depending on their ages. No leaving the house without asking. No prank phone calls. Stay in designated areas (this makes for less cleanup the next day). Mandatory quiet time after a certain hour. Make it clear that you have zero-tolerance for bullying and teasing. It's one thing to have a playful argument over which movie to watch. It's another to single a boy out and ridicule them. If something like this persists, call the boy's parents and send the bully home early. No inappropriate language or content allowed.
Be prepared for the unexpected. Make sure you have the supplies to handle sudden medical emergencies or surprise messes. Young children are prone to mishaps so understand the risks involved with hosting a sleepover. If a guest gets homesick, be ready to call their parents and maybe even have your partner give them a lift home while you keep an eye on things at home. Bed-wetting. If the unthinkable happens, try to help the boys maintain their dignity (feign a tipped over glass of water, for instance) and show them to the bathroom where they can clean themselves up. You could help them by grabbing a spare set of their clothing from their backpack. If your son becomes overwhelmed by all the activity, ask him to help you for a moment and give him a good pep talk when you're alone. If this happens a lot, sleepovers might not be the best idea for a while. Know of any pre-existing medical conditions beforehand. Immediately inform their parents if any guest needs to go to the hospital and be sure to give the doctors as much information about the guest as you can.
Check on the boys often, but don't hover over them constantly. You can use the excuse of checking on them to see if they need more snacks, for example. Be sure to allow them enough space to have fun and be themselves.
Set a time for "lights-out". This should just a little bit later than their normal bedtimes, but don't be surprised if you have to come back in the middle of the night to settle them down. Give them a little lee-way with their bedtimes but don’t be afraid to be forceful when telling everyone they need to sleep.
Choosing Sleepover Activities
Ask your guests. Have a plan of how to structure the evening, but it’s important to ask the boys for feedback. You show the boys respect and compassion by including them on the conversation of what to do. Don’t be too obsessive and remember that your son's guests already know what keep them entertained.
Pick a favorite board game. This is ideal for younger sleepover guests, but there are a plethora of board games that are fitting for older guests as well. A board game is also ideal because it gives you a chance to have fun with the guests. Have an assortment of family-friendly (but not too childish, if they boys are reaching the ages of ten or more) and fun games for the boys to choose from. Sorry, Operation, Scategories, and Youth Trivial Pursuit are all acceptable options. Some boys may be into more strategy-based games such as Risk or Settlers of Catan. See if the sleepover group has any interest in these games and consider purchasing some for the sleepover. Make sure they clean up one game themselves before starting the next. Offer prizes in the form of small snacks for the "winners" of a game if you like.
Making arts and crafts can be a fun option. It can be hard to find a good craft boys will enjoy depending on their age, but it is possible. Crafts can also be a great way to teach the boys something practical and creative instead of just consuming television or video game programming. Teach them how to make origami. Origami is an excellent craft they can take home as well. Small boys may enjoy making costumes out of paper, such as knight's armor and weaponry. Keep coloring books on hand with an array of crayons. Try to choose interesting coloring books like those based around animals or landscapes. Print out monster mouths and try to see who can make the scariest monster sounds. If you’re at a loss for ideas, search for arts and crafts websites that are geared towards children.
Host a movie night. This is an excellent option for keeping guests entertained with little effort on your part. Talk to your son before the sleepover to get a handle on what sorts of movies the guests will enjoy. Choose a few movies that would be acceptable for everyone there to watch (keep in mind other families' rules and beliefs and so forth). Let them pick one to three of them, depending on how long they are and how much time they have available before lights-out. Put out enough pillows, blankets, and chairs so everyone has a place to relax and enjoy the movies.
Camp-out or camp-in. Depending on the boys' age, this can be an indoor or outdoor sleepover theme. Keep the indoor option handy in case weather doesn’t permit an outdoor sleeping option. If necessary, provide some heavy-duty sleeping bags and tents (outdoors only). Lead the boys in singing some traditional campfire sing-alongs. Make s’mores, either over a campfire (supervised!) or in the microwave. Lead the boys in telling not-too-scary ghost stories around the fire, or with flashlights indoors. Check on them in the middle of the night, especially if they are camping out in the backyard.
Plan a video game night. This one will especially be popular with older boys in their teenage years. There are a number of considerations you need to make when choosing video games to ensure the selections are both fun and age appropriate. Pick a few video games that all the boys are allowed to play when they are each at home. It's important to respect each family's individual rules. Pick games that can accommodate two or more players at a time. Make sure you have as many controllers as necessary. Make sure everyone gets a turn to play if there are more guests than video game controllers. If one boy complains of being left out or of not being able to play a game he likes, mandate a change in the way things are going. Alternately, you can offer the ultimatum that the sleepover will quickly turn into a movie night or something else. Boys can get wound up playing video games. Make them switch to another more relaxing activity a half hour or more before bedtime, such as watching a movie or show, storytelling, playing a board game, etc.
Cleaning Up
Have a plan for early-risers. Leave out some comic books and snacks or something of that nature to keep them occupied without waking you or the other boys up too early. Put on some quiet, early morning television so the early birds are easily subdued and entertained.
Encourage a communal clean-up. After the sleepover you could be left with an intimidating mess. It's important to include the boys in the clean-up in a way that's fun to encourage responsibility and reduce the time you spend cleaning alone. Make sure everyone has their belongings packed. Ask the boys which shoes, clothes, toiletries, etc are theirs and then make sure they are all packed with the right person. Try to make it fun by offering small candy bars or other snacks for the boys who finish cleaning up the quickest. Get creative and think of other ways to incentivize clean-up time. Intervene and show them the proper way to clean if they're confused. For example, show them how to correctly fold clothes, make beds, or clean up small stains so they will know for future incidents.
Don’t be afraid to wake everyone up on time. Many young boys from toddlers to teenagers hate waking up early, but you need to set a time when they have to leave. If they’re being especially resistant, there are a few tactics you can use to get the sleepy heads out of bed. Pick a wake-up time that’s close to their school wake-up time. Kids are more likely to awaken at times that coincide with their usual routine. Use food to entice them. Bring in a fresh stack of pancakes or a steaming plate of bacon as incentives for getting out of bed. When all else fails, turn on the lights and loudly announce that it’s time to wake up. This method may annoy them for a time, but sometimes it’s necessary to be the disciplinarian.
Keep in contact with the boys’ parents. Check in with their parents to make sure they had a good time or to keep tabs with a guest that had to leave early. Forming relationships with their parents can also be a good method to entice them into hosting sleepovers in the future.
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