How to Get Your Boyfriend or Girlfriend to Kiss You First

Using Body Language

Make physical contact. Kissing is an intimate act. You can move toward the act of kissing by creating some warm touch. Find any reason to touch your partner, or even just stand very close to them, to signal that you’re ready to lock lips. Lean against your partner. Put your arm around them. Brush an eyelash from their face. Fix the tag on their t-shirt.

Highlight your mouth. Drawing attention to your mouth encourages your partner to think about kissing, and in turn, to want to kiss you. Draw attention to your mouth with subtle actions. Apply lip gloss or lip balm. Eat a piece of fruit, like a strawberry. Gently bite your bottom lip.

Make eye contact. Perhaps the most sure-fire sign that you would like to be kissed is a lot of sustained eye contact. When you spend time with your partner, try to hold their gaze as much as possible. This helps to build intimacy, and signals to them that you would like to be kissed. During a board game, during a meal, or simply when you are sitting together on the couch are all great times to practice your eye contact. Aim to hold their gaze for 10-15 seconds at a time.

Try cuddling. Lay your head on your partner’s shoulder or go in for a long hug. The more physical touch you share, the more likely you are to kiss. Try some gentle cuddling while riding the bus or watching TV.

Create an opportunity. The “goodbye kiss” is a classic end to a date or hangout. As the night is coming to a close, chances are, your date will probably be wondering whether they should try to kiss you or not. Help sway them by providing lots of clues! When it is almost time to say goodbye, find ways to touch them, make lots of eye contact, and find some way to draw attention to your mouth.

Setting the Right Mood

Find someplace private. It may seem romantic to kiss outside in the rain or snow, but most people prefer to smooch in private. You are more likely to get a kiss if you can find some place to spend time with your partner alone. Go for a walk. Go to a restaurant when it’s very slow (e.g., 3:00pm). Hang out at home. Make sure you stay in safe areas and follow the rules.

Watch a movie. A lot of first kisses happen during movies. Whether you go out to see a movie or take in a movie at home, watching a movie allows you to get cozy with your partner. This often results in a kiss. A romantic movie can stir up some romance. A scary movie can get you snuggling in for safety. A funny movie may put you both in a positive mood.

Wear a fragrance. Perfumes and colognes were invented to attract romantic partners. Wear a sweet, subtle fragrance to lure your boyfriend or girlfriend to kiss you. Be careful not to over do it! Too much fragrance will have the opposite effect. Clinique Happy is a nice feminine scent. Lacoste Challenge is a subtle, more masculine scent.

Brush your teeth. One of the most important ways to prepare for a wonderful kiss is to make sure your mouth is clean and fresh! Brush your teeth, floss your teeth, and use mouthwash before meeting up with your boyfriend or girlfriend. You may want to bring some mouthwash or mints along with you just in case you need freshen up.

Sending Flirty Signals

Whisper sweet nothings. An excellent way to flirt with your partner and send a clear signal that you’d like to be kissed is to whisper in their ear. Get very close to them and say something simple like, “Thanks for a wonderful date.” Your body close to them, your face by their face, and your breath on their ear are sure to ramp up the kissing desire! You can also try giving them a simple compliment, such as, "I like your shirt," or, "You smell nice."

Compliment them. Making your partner feel confident helps give them the courage to kiss you. Tell them some of the things you like about them. If you are feeling very bold, be sure to mention that you like their lips. You can say, “You have really nice eyes.” You can say, “You’re always so kind to strangers on the street. I really like that about you.” If you are feeling saucy, say, “You have really nice lips. I really like the shape of them.”

Talk about kissing. It is possible that your partner may not be thinking about kissing. You can bring kissing to their mind (and encourage them to kiss you) by bringing up the topic of kissing in conversation. For example, if you see other people kissing (in a movie or on the street) you can point it out. You can say, “It looks like they are having fun.” Or you could say something like, “Did you know that the human mouth is packed with nerve endings? That is why kissing feels so good.” You can also say outright to your partner, "If it's okay with you, I would love to kiss you."

Be confident! If all else fails, just do the kissing yourself! Sometimes you’ve got to be the one to make the first move. You can boost your confidence and find the gusto to go in for a kiss by looking for positive signals. Has your partner been making eye contact, standing very close, and paying you compliments? Then chance are, they are waiting for you to kiss them. Ask the person before you kiss them! It will diffuse your nervousness about whether or not they want to kiss you because you'll have a clear answer. If you get nervous, you can excuse yourself for a moment and go take some deep breaths. Focus on how you will feel after the kiss (relaxed, relieved, romantic) and any nervousness should fade into the background.