Building Confidence
Focus on your talents. Pay attention to your natural abilities. Think about areas where you excel. Commit yourself to discovering and cultivating your unique talents. For example, you may be good at a certain sport, school subject, art or instrument. Talent and success are both attractive qualities. Getting more involved with something you're good at can help you get noticed and acknowledged by others.
Practice good hygiene. Shower every day. Choose a mild soap and make sure to wash all areas of your body, including under your fingernails. Keep your nails well-trimmed. Use deodorant or antiperspirant. Avoid bad breath by practicing good oral health. Make sure to wear clean clothing, including socks. Opt for cotton clothing if you have a tendency to sweat a lot. You may want to wash your face up to twice per day. Shave as needed. If you show up to classes well-groomed, you'll probably feel better about yourself and attract more girls.
Dress confidently. Aim to dress maturely instead of boyishly. Wear classic pieces instead of splurging on what's trendy. Dress appropriately for your climate. Wear what makes you feel good about yourself. For example, don't buy oversized jeans just because they may be currently in fashion. You'll feel more confident in well-fitted pants than if you're constantly having to pull up your sagging jeans. Consider wearing a polo shirt instead of a t-shirt. Choose clothing that reflects the colors and necessary warmth of the season.
Speak confidently. Don't mumble. Talk loudly enough to be heard. Don't be afraid to give your opinion, but think about the impact of what you're going to say first. For example, don't compare a girl to someone you were in a previous relationship with. Talking just for the sake of talking shows nervousness. Try asking yourself before you speak, “Is this the truth? Is it nice to say? Is it important to say?”
Use confident body language. Smile, which shows that you're positive and approachable! Keep your posture straight. Avoid fidgeting, which can make you appear nervous. Positive body language helps others relate to you and respect you. If you're having trouble with slouching, practice keeping your back straight against a wall or a chair.
Interacting with Girls
Be a good listener. Nod, make eye contact, and stay focused on what a girl is talking to you about. Try to understand her emotions and point of view. Imagine how she feels as she speaks, and react accordingly. Everyone wants to be seen, heard, and accepted for who they are. If you show a girl that you are genuinely interested in what she loves and want to learn more about it, she will truly feel like you care about her. In future interactions with the girl, incorporate the information she shared in your conversations. This will help show you were paying attention when she spoke about it. Teen boys who empathize with their female peers are more likely to have girlfriends. For example, if she's upset, hear her out. Then try saying, “I'm sorry that happened to you.”
Make friends with girls. Think of ways you can connect with each other. Make conversation about school or hobbies. Try asking her questions about herself, which will show you're interested in what she thinks. Teen relationships often start with friendship. If you've spoken to her before, try asking if you can add her as a friend on a social networking site. If you've never spoken to her before, try asking her about a class, mutual friend, or after-school activity. Try asking, “What type of music do you like?” Try to create an authentic relationship where you both share and own your imperfections and mistakes.
Give girls compliments. Notice something about a girl that you can give her a positive comment on. Don't make something up; put thought into noticing something she's put effort into. Then offer a sincere, heartfelt compliment. Try saying, “Your hair looks great today.” If you've witnessed her playing a sport or creating art in a class, you can compliment her on that. Practice vulnerable intimacy when possible and say why you like the girl on a deeper level.
Practice good manners. Make kind gestures whenever possible. Open doors for people. Offer your help when it may be appreciated, whether it's with carrying something or studying. For example, offer to help a girl with putting her coat on. If you see a girl carrying something bulky, try saying, “I can carry that for you.” If you see a girl struggling with a school subject you understand, help explain it to them or offer to study together.
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