Getting Help with Schoolwork
Try problem-solving first. When possible, try to figure out the solution to your problem on your own before you resort to other options. Teachers like it when students try to problem solve before asking for help. It shows independence. Try to use your resources. For example, see if the answer to your question is in your textbook or notes. Some teachers tell students to “phone a friend” or ask another student for help before asking the teacher.
Be brave. A lot of times people won’t ask for help because they are afraid they will look stupid or embarrass themselves. The truth is, not asking for help is usually worse because you don’t get the help you need. If you’ve tried to problem solve, but still need help, then be brave and ask your teacher. Take a deep breath and remind yourself that asking your teacher for help is a mature thing to do. Say to yourself, “Asking for help means I’m mature. It’s what I should do when I don’t understand.” You can also remind yourself, “There’s probably someone else that has the same question, but is afraid to ask. So I’ll be brave and ask.”
Get your teacher’s attention the right way. Yelling “I need help” or just blurting out your question while your teacher is talking is not the best way to get their attention. To respect your teacher, raise your hand or use the signal they taught you when asking for help. For example, your teacher might have taught you to hold up an American Sign Language ‘a’ to silently signal that you want to ask a question. Sometimes you may need to approach your teacher to get their attention. If you do, politely say “Excuse me.” For example, your Math teacher is at his desk looking over papers and doesn’t see your raised hand. You could walk up and say, “Excuse me, Mr. Jenkins.”
Tell your teacher what you need help with. Teachers know a lot of things, and sometimes seem like they can read your mind. It will be a lot easier for you to ask for help, however, and get the help you need from your teacher. You just need to let them know exactly what you need help with. You can start by saying something like, “Mr. Golden, could you help me with the fourth discussion question?” Then you can be more specific. For example, “I don’t understand what the second part of the question is asking.”
Don’t ask your teacher for the answers. That doesn’t help you learn and most teachers won’t just give you the answer anyway. Instead, ask your teacher for help finding the answer or remembering the steps to find the answer. This will help you figure out similar questions and show your teacher that you want to be a good problem-solver. For example, instead of asking, “What’s the main topic of this passage?” You could ask, “How do I find the main topic of a passage?” Alternatively, you might say, "How do I multiple two-digit numbers?" instead of, "What is 30 times 15?"
Listen to the response. It doesn’t do any good to ask a teacher for help if you aren’t going to really listen to their answer. Paying attention to your teacher’s answer will get you the help you need with your schoolwork. It will also show your teacher respect which will encourage them to help you next time you ask. Don’t get impatient, if their answer turns into a mini-lesson. Your teacher is just trying to help you and make sure you understand. Their answer to your question might answer another question you have or teach you something else. Ask more questions if you don’t understand. For example, you could say, “And how do I know if it’s a right angle?”
Asking for Help with Personal Problems
Ask to talk to the teacher in private. If you want to ask your teacher for help with a personal issue that you have, you should talk to the teacher alone, not during class time. Talking in private will help you feel less nervous and more comfortable about asking for help. It will also give your teacher more time to help you because they aren’t trying to teach at the same time. For example, you could say, “When you have time later today, could we talk about a problem I’m having?” If you’re afraid to approach your teacher, put a note on their chair. The note could say, “Can we talk later about something personal? Thanks, Mark.” You could also send your teacher an email or message letting them know you would like to ask their help with a personal issue.
Tell your teacher what kind of help you need. Sometimes teachers will try to offer advice on what you should do, when all you wanted was for them to listen. If you let your teacher know how they can help, it will make it easier for them to give you the help you want and need. Think about what kind of help you want. Ask yourself, “Do I want her to listen, to give me advice, or to do something about the problem?” Tell your teacher how they can help. For example, “Can you help me come up with ways to make more friends?” If you don’t know how you want your teacher to help, you it’s okay for you to say that, too. Try saying, “I need your help with a problem, but I don’t know what kind of help I need.”
Be honest. It will be a lot easier for you to ask your teacher for help if you are truthful about what is going on. You won’t have to worry about keeping a lie straight, so you will feel more relaxed talking to your teacher. Also, being honest will help your teacher figure out the right way to help you. The more truthful information your teacher has about what is going on, the more they will be able to help. If you are afraid you will get in trouble, then say that. You could say, “I need your help with something but I’m scared I’ll get in trouble.” If you are asking for help, but also trying not to get someone else in trouble, you could leave out names, but still be honest about what is going on. For example, “My friend is thinking about cheating on a test and I need advice on how to stop them from doing something so stupid.”
Asking for Help as a Parent
Don’t be afraid. Some parents may be hesitant to ask for help because they don’t speak English or think the teacher will look down on them. If you need help, and think the teacher can provide it, then don’t be afraid to ask! Teachers want to help your child succeed and like it when you communicate with them because it shows your love for your child. Most schools have interpreters and some teachers speak multiple languages. If you don’t have time to go to the school, then give the teacher a call or send the teacher a note, email, or text. Remind yourself, “Parent-teacher communication is good and I can’t get help if I don’t ask for it.” Tell yourself, “This teacher wants what’s best for my child. She won’t look down on me for asking for help. She’ll know I’m trying to be a good parent.”
Contact the teacher as soon as you realize you need help. Asking a teacher for help early on may prevent the issue from getting any bigger. It also gives the teacher the opportunity to be proactive and stop problems at home from impacting schoolwork so much. Don’t wait until report cards or progress reports come home. If you notice that your child is struggling with homework or their grades are falling, you should ask the teacher for help immediately. If your family is dealing with major stress like death, divorce, financial issues, or even moving you should ask the teacher for help supporting your child through it.
Figure out what type of help you need. As a parent, you might need to ask for help with your child’s academics, social life, or even for help with something in your personal life. Knowing how you want the teacher to help will make it easier for you to get the help you need. You might need advice. For instance, you might need to ask for advice about encouraging your child to make better choices in friends. Some parents need assistance. For example, you may need to ask for help paying for the upcoming field trip. You may want information. You might, for example, want to ask for help becoming more active at your child’s school.
Contact the teacher at the right time. Even though teachers can be a great place to turn when you need help, teachers are very busy throughout the school day. Contacting them at the right time will give them more time to help you. Before school and after school may seem like good times to call or go see a teacher to ask for help, but teachers are often very busy at these times. If possible, contact the teacher ahead of time via note, phone, text, or email to schedule a time for you all to talk. For example, you could send an email that says, “Greetings! I would like to ask your help with something. When is a good day and time for us to talk?”
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