Other Ways to Say "No" for Any Reason
Use clear, direct phrases like, "I can't, I'm sorry" or "I'd rather not." Whether you need to tell someone "No" to refuse an offer they're making; disagree with something they said; express your opinion; or deny doing a specific action, try to make your answer clear and firm as well as polite. If you're direct, then the other person will know your true meaning and you won't have to repeat yourself. Try out the following ways to say "No" with confidence in any situation. "I don't want to do that." "I can't, I'm sorry." "I don't think I will." "I can't take on anything else right now." "It's not possible." "I can't do it." "I choose not to." "Not really." "Not at all." "I'd rather not." "Sorry, I'm afraid I can't." "Absolutely not." "That's not going to work for me." "I wish I could help." "If only I could!" "Maybe another time." "I'll have to bow out." "This isn't a good time for me." "I don't think that's a good idea." EXPERT TIP Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers. Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor Use "I statements" when refusing a request and attach it to an emotion. For example, say, "I don't feel like doing it" or "I don't feel safe doing that. This helps the other person validate and empathize with your feelings and makes you feel more empowered!
Ways to Say "No" to an Invitation
Send your regrets with phrases like "I'm sorry, I already have plans." If you don't have plans, you can either make some up or just don't mention what you're going to do instead of accepting the invitation. You don't have to provide a detailed excuse for your refusal; and if the person inviting you gets upset by your answer, that says they're not great at respecting boundaries and probably isn't a good person to be friends with. If you're having trouble saying "No" to an invitation or offer, feel free to copy one of these phrases. "I'm sorry, I already have plans." "I'll have to take a rain check." "That sounds like fun, but unfortunately, I can't come. "Thanks for the invite, but I can't make it." "I appreciate your offer. Sadly, I have other plans." "I'll have to pass this time." "Sorry, I won't be able to make it." "I have a prior commitment." "I'm not able to make it this time." "I wish I could go!" "You're so kind to invite me, but I'll have to decline." "I'd love to, but I just can't." "Thank you for the invitation, but my calendar is booked solid." "I wish I were able to make it." "Can we do it some other time?" "I'm honored, but I really can't come." "I'll have to catch you on the next one." "Let me know how it goes!" "Let's do it another time."
Ways to Say "No" When You Don't Have Time
Emphasize how busy you are with phrases like "I just don't have time." Sometimes you may want to help your friend move out or take on another project at work, but you're already swamped with other commitments or plans. In that case, there are plenty of polite ways to say you can't help. Also, not having the time is a perfectly valid excuse to use at work, especially if you back it up with data. Try these time-centered refusals when you need to back out of a request in a pinch. "I just don't have time." "Not now." "Ask me again in a couple of weeks." "Reach out to me again about that in a month." "I'm too swamped." "I would, but I just have too much going on right now." "I don't have the bandwidth for this." "I'm at the end of my rope already, so I'll have to pass." "I'm not taking on any new tasks right now." "I wish there were two of me!" "I'm maxed out on things I can do." "Can you ask me again in a few days?" "I already have a lot on my plate at the moment." "I'm so slammed." "It's just not possible for me to take this on." "I have some other things I have to take care of first." "This isn't a priority for me right now." "I can't swing it." "I'm spread too thin as it is." "I'm neck-deep in a project right now." "I can't fit anything else into my schedule."
Ways to Say "No" When It's Not a Good Fit
Say "It's not for me" when you don't vibe with a request. We've all been in those awkward situations when someone makes an offer or asks you to do something that you don't vibe with. Maybe your mom offers you some of her clothes from the 1970s or you realize you have to turn down a second date with someone you didn't click with. Whatever the circumstances, the "No" phrases below will help you get out of it as smoothly as possible. "That sounds great, but it's not for me." "I don't think that's a good fit for me." "It's nice, but it's not my style." "I'm not really into that." "I don't think I fit the bill." "I appreciate the offer, but I just don't feel suited to it." "I don't believe I'm the right person for that." "I don't think it would work out very well." "That won't fit with my schedule, sorry." "I just don't see us working well together." "We wouldn't be very compatible." "I can't help, but I can recommend someone who can!" "It's a wonderful idea, but unfortunately it's not in my area of expertise." EXPERT TIP Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor Rebecca Tenzer is the owner and head clinician at Astute Counseling Services, a private counseling practice in Chicago, Illinois. With over 18 years of clinical and educational experience in the field of mental health, Rebecca specializes in the treatment of depression, anxiety, panic, trauma, grief, interpersonal relationships using a combination of Cognitive Behavioral therapy, Psychodynamic therapy, and other evidence-based practices. Rebecca holds a Bachelor of Arts (BA) in Sociology and Anthropology from DePauw University, a Master in Teaching (MAT) from Dominican University, and a Master of Social Work (MSW) from the University of Chicago. Rebecca has served as a member of the AmeriCorps and is also a Professor of Psychology at the collegiate level. Rebecca is trained as a Cognitive Behavioral Therapist (CBT), a Certified Clinical Trauma Professional (CCTP), a Certified Grief Counseling Specialist (CGCS), a Clinical Anxiety Treatment Professional (CCATP), and a Certified Compassion Fatigue Professional (CCFP). Rebecca is also a member of the Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Society of America and The National Association of Social Workers. Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP Rebecca Tenzer, MAT, MA, LCSW, CCTP, CGCS, CCATP, CCFP Clinical Therapist & Adjunct Professor Think about why you want to refuse if you struggle to say "No." Does the thought of doing it make you feel bad or negative? Understanding your feelings and your thought process can help you pick your battles and give you the strength to use your voice when you feel strongly about something.
Fancy Ways to Say "No"
Exaggerate your "No" with old-fashioned phrases like "No indeed." When you want to have a little fun with your refusal or denial, make old-fashioned fancy phrases your go-to option. Imagine how entertained the other person will be when you respond to their invitation to the movies with a text like, "Regrettably, I must decline." The over-the-top formality is sure to get a laugh and could even soften the blow of your refusal. Here are some other fancy ways to say "No" to add to your repertoire. "By no means." "Under no circumstances." "No, indeed." "Regrettably, I must decline." "It pains me to refuse, but alas, I must." "Please send my regrets." "With great reluctance, I must decline your generous offer." "Certainly not." "Nay, verily." "I'm afraid it would displease me." "Do let me know how it turns out."
Casual Ways to Say "No"
Use casual phrases like "Nope" or "No way" with people you're close to. When you're talking to your boss, other professionals, elders, or people you don't know very well, you should definitely opt for saying "No" in a polite, respectful way. But when you're around close friends and family, all bets are off! Try these casual and slang ways to say "No" when you want to let loose and express your true feelings. "Nope." "Nah." "Negatori." "Nix." "Uh-uh." "No way, Jose!" "Never in a million years." "Not on my watch." "No, siree!" "Not on your life." "Negative." "No way!" "Not happening." "I'll pass." "Heavens no!" "Never." "No can do." "I'm good." "I'm already all set, thanks." "Count me out." "I'm not a fan."
How to Say "No" Politely
Thank them for the opportunity or the invitation. Beginning your polite refusal with an expression of gratitude is a kind and positive way to break the news. It might also help redirect the person's disappointment or bad feelings toward empathy rather than resentment. Here are a few examples of ways to incorporate a "Thank you" into your "No." "Thank you so much for thinking of me, but I'm going to have to bow out this time." "I really appreciate you taking the time to invite me, but I already have other plans." "That's such a great offer! You're so kind! Unfortunately, I don't think it's the best fit for me."
Be straightforward and direct. Once you've opened with kindness, cut to the chase and get your "No" out the door. The longer you beat around the bush, the more awkward you'll both feel. Plus, if you dither around for long enough, the other person might think you're just pretending to say "No" for modesty or other reasons. Saying "No" in clear, direct language will help you avoid leading them on.
Offer an explanation. If you know the other person well or committed to them in the past, an explanation will help smooth things over and assure them you're not being rude. On the other hand, if you don't know them well at all or your relationship is strictly professional, an explanation may be neither needed nor wanted. Regardless, don't feel obligated to say more than you feel comfortable with. It's perfectly acceptable to say something vague like, "I already have other plans," or "I need to stay home and take care of some personal matters."
Recommend an alternative solution. If you have to refuse the other person but you still want to help or see them in the future, try suggesting an alternative time or solution to what they're asking. If your busy schedule is the problem, say, "Can we try this again in a couple of weeks [or whenever you're free]?" If you already made other plans, try saying, "I can't this weekend, but I'd love to hang out with you later in the month if you're available!"
Stay firm. Once you decide to say "No," stick to it! Don't let the other person convince you to change your mind or guilt you into saying "Yes" instead. If you do, you're signaling to them you can be easily persuaded and manipulated. This might turn you into an object of future requests. Instead, politely insist that your refusal is final. You might also add that you'll let them know if you become available, in case you want to keep a door of opportunity open.
When You Should Say "No"
Say "No" when you can't handle another commitment. For example, if you already have a lot on your plate at work and your boss comes and asks you if you can take on one more thing, it might be best to refuse. While you want to impress your boss, you also want to maintain your sanity and give your current projects the attention they deserve. Apply the same philosophy to your personal commitments, as well.
Say "No" when saying "Yes" would make you uncomfortable. Sometimes people in our personal or professional lives make requests of us that cross inappropriate boundaries. For example, a great time to say "No" is when your boss asks you to pick up their laundry after work. Another is when a fellow high school student you barely know asks you to come over when their parents aren't home to study. Trust your instincts and learn to say "No" if you feel someone is asking too much. Why it's hard but important to say "No": Refusing to do things we feel uncomfortable with or can't handle is essential if we want to keep up our mental, emotional, and physical health. If we don't establish boundaries, we'll do whatever other people want all the time and burn ourselves out. We might even get involved in things we don't like or agree with just to avoid conflict. If you have trouble saying "No,", Tenzer suggests practicing "with small things." For example, "... if someone asks you to do something around the house that you are opposed to, work on using your voice." Having a voice, she says, "is imperative in order to live a happy, healthy life."
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