We all know and want the high of new love. It’s commonly said that the early stages of a relationship are the best. In many cases, it’s true, but the age-old question is, how does one make it last?
‘Dopamine dating’, a new term coined by the popular dating app, encourages people to explore and maintain the highs and excitement usually experienced at the start of a relationship, as the relationship progresses. It is about taking the time and effort to find interesting and creative ways to keep your dopamine high through various stages in a relationship.
Samarpita Samaddar, India Communications Director, Bumble, shares, “We might get wrapped up in our regular, mundane routines and the spark that shines so bright in the beginning when we just met someone might diminish a bit. So how do we keep up the highs of new love? Re-creating the first date and celebrating special moments like anniversaries or milestones together can be fun! Also, communication in a relationship never goes out of style! Never stop dating each other even years later!”
If you want to ace dopamine dating, here are some things you can do at different stages of your relationship, according to Shahzeen Shivdasani, Relationship Expert, Bumble.
The end of the so-called honeymoon period (still early stages):
- Maintaining individualityIt is very easy to get swept up in the romance of a new relationship. However, maintaining your individuality is what keeps a relationship exhilarating. Make time for your hobbies, friends and family. When you go out and do things without each other you will have more to share thus stimulating your mental and emotional intimacy levels.
- Playful witty banterBe playful. Witty banter keeps your conversations interesting. While we might actively do this in the initial few months of dating, sometimes it tends to decrease once a commitment is made. This is a powerful tool to keep the excitement alive.
Falling in love every day (beyond two years)
- Don’t take each other for grantedTake the time to show gratitude and appreciate your partner. You can do this by remembering to thank your partner when they do something for you, even if that’s just helping you with groceries. Taking note of even the smallest things matter, being affectionate and reminding them how much you love them.
- Don’t be afraid to go slowIf you want that new relationship energy to last, don’t be in a hurry to settle into a routine. Surprise your partner with love notes, small gestures, or by planning an impromptu date or a game/movie night. So don’t be afraid to go slow. If it’s meant to last, you don’t need to rush into things right away. Surprises can keep mystery alive.
- Prioritise intimacyEmotional, intellectual and physical intimacy will always remain an important part of any relationship. After dating someone for two or more years, some of this may start to take a back seat. Ensure that you and your partner have genuine and clear conversations around your intimacy needs and desires.
Sealing the deal (engagement/living-in):
- Take time off togetherExcitement of having things to look forward to can be a dopamine-booster. When you have been with someone for a long time, you get into the routine of things, and sometimes, that can feel monotonous. Taking a break from your regular life and exploring a new place together can bring a sense of adventure.
- Keep doing new things togetherTrying new things together that you haven’t done before can boost intimacy and bring thrill back to the relationship.
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