Honey Badger
Fearless, borderline blind, and able to fight through venomThere’s an iconic meme that explains why honey badgers “don’t give a s*it” and we’ve got to say we agree with the meme’s assessment. Honey badgers only attack when they’re surprised, but they have absolutely terrible eyesight which means they’re basically surprised by everything all the time. They snack almost exclusively on things that are venomous or dangerous (including adders, vipers, cobras, and beehives), and they’re so angry that venom coursing through their bloodstream won’t stop an attack. They’re so angry that even lions avoid them, and some theorize that cheetah cubs evolved to look like honey badgers so they’d be left alone! Anger level: 10/10. This animal is rage incarnate. Danger level: 10/10 for other animals. 0/10 for humans. They’re too confused by humans to want to attack them. Overall aggression score: 7.5/10.
Nile Crocodile
Territorial, ancient, and weirdly aggressive given their sizeMost animals at the top of their respective food chains are chill because they don’t have to fight. Lions, elephants, great white sharks—none of these alphas look for pointless scraps. Not the Nile crocodile. These giant beasts are apex predators, but they don’t care; they’ll still attack basically anything that enters their territory. On top of that, the bigger these guys get the angrier they become. They must be hungry all the time or something. Anger level: 6/10. They’re pretty chill if nothing bothers them. Danger level: 8/10. They kill around 200 people a year and it’s super easy to accidentally wander into their territory since they spend so much time under water. Overall aggression score: 7/10.
African Buffalo
Dedicated, formidable, and armed with sharp horns African buffalo are actually 4 different species of buffalo, but all of them are equally aggressive. They evolved to stand up to hippos, lions, and other giant beasts, so they’re huge and extremely defensive. With the loss of their habitat, they’ve also learned how to break down fences to eat crops and farm plants. They’re colossal beasts with massive horns and they aren’t afraid to headbutt literally anything that interrupts their meal. Anger level: 4/10. Just let ‘em eat and they should be chill. Danger level: 8/10. African buffalo kill around 200 people a year. Overall aggression score: 6/10
Black Rhino
So nervous they’re putting the “danger” in endangered Black Rhinos are critically endangered, but they do pack a serious punch if you run into one. They can run up to 35 miles per hour (56 km/h) and they weigh anywhere from 1,700–3,000 pounds (770–1,360 kg), so all they need to do is run at something to kill it. Like the honey badger, black rhinos have basically zero eyesight, so they’re frequently confused and startled. In fact, rhinos are basically nervous all the time. They’d probably be a lot friendlier if someone got them some glasses. Anger level: 4/10. Their anger comes from a place of confusion and nerves, so we don’t feel comfortable ranking them especially high here. Danger level: 10/10. If it runs at you you’re dead, so yeah. Pretty dangerous. Overall aggression score: 7/10.
Bull Shark
Angry cannibals with serious anxiety issues Bull sharks are cannibalistic, which means they eat their own (in addition to other sharks). This means that from the moment a bull shark is born, they’re being attacked by something bigger than them. Not exactly a good strategy for raising a calm critter. As a result, bull sharks are extremely territorial and willing to fight anything—even if it’s bigger than them. Anger level: 10/10. They’re raised to be pure rage. Danger level: 10/10. Unfortunately, these sharks naturally frequent temperate coastal waters. This means they run into swimmers very often. They attack around 100 people a year and kill about 30% of the time. If you hear of a shark eating a person, it was probably a bull shark. Overall aggression score: 10/10.
Black Mamba
Deadly, lightning fast, and able to leap off the ground The black mamba’s reputation is a little unearned in the sense that it isn’t quite as aggressive as people think. It does make this list for being so dangerous and fast to fight, though. The massive black mamba is actually the fastest snake in the world (they’re faster than Komodo dragons!). On top of that, they can swim on top of water and throw up to 50% of their body weight in the air to strike their target. No snake should be able to jump—especially the snake with one of the deadliest bites in the world. Anger level: 2/10. The black mamba actually doesn’t want to fight a lot of the time. It just has an aggressive reputation because it’s so fast when it does fight. Danger level: 10/10. Their bite isn’t called the “kiss of death” for no reason. The black mamba is responsible for hundreds (potentially thousands) of deaths a year. Overall aggression score: 6/10
Triggerfish
Bitey and easily triggered by intruders If you’re fond of fish that bite people, you’re probably a fan of the triggerfish. These large fish have huge territories when they’re nesting and they’ll attack anything that enters their territory—including divers. The triggerfish will also follow whatever it attacks until it completely leaves the area, so not only does the fish bite you, it bites you then chases you down like a psychopath. Anger level: 7/10. It even has a special spine and fin that pop out when it’s about to attack. That’s right. The fish has a special attack mode. Danger level: 3/10. The bite hurts, but they aren’t big enough to cause permanent damage of any kind. Overall aggression score: 5/10
South American Horned Frog
A giant head and an even bigger jaw The South American horned frog has a jaw that’s the size of basically its entire body. In fact, it actually eats a lot of its prey whole—and boy does it have a lot of prey. Birds, insects, rodents, lizards—South American horned frogs will eat it all. It also has a bite that’s about twice as strong as an English Bulldog’s bite, so keep your fingers away if you run into one of these frogs. Anger level: 2/10. It’s got the attitude of a typical frog, it mainly just wants to sit on a lily and chill. Danger level: 6/10. That bite will take a finger off! Luckily, it’s pretty easy to avoid these frogs. Overall aggression score: 4/10
Fire Ant
Collaborative, but not in a particularly fun way Fire ants are among the most aggressive insects in the world. If they detect a threat, they’ll band together and thousands of ants will all simultaneously descend on the target. Unfortunately, ants aren’t especially good at detecting threats, so they’ll swarm basically anything that annoys them. They also have an extremely painful bite that can kill you if you don’t flee. Anger level: 9/10. They get a point off for being the “too dumb to assess threats correctly” kind of angry instead of the “raw ire for all living things” angry. Danger level: 7/10. Their bite is extremely painful and they will kill basically anything if it doesn’t run away. Overall aggression score: 8/10
Hippopotamus
The best defense is no defense at all—just attack everything Hippos are almost comically aggressive for two reasons: they have no way to defend themselves, and they’re extremely territorial. That means that if a hippo feels threatened, they charge. It doesn’t matter how big or scary the intruder is, the hippo has no choice but to fight. They’re also crazy fast (they run up to 30 miles per hour (48 km/h)) and they weight up to 10,000 pounds (4,500 kg), so they can basically run over anything that isn’t an elephant. Anger level: 10/10. They’re extremely angry. You would be too if you were stuck in a mud pond all day. Danger level: 10/10. They kill 500 people a year, which actually makes them one of the most dangerous animals in the world. Overall aggression score: 10/10.
Chimpanzee
Extreme violence meets extreme intelligence After mosquitos, humans are the most dangerous animal in the world in terms of human death. So it’s no surprise that our closest living relative is also extremely violent and aggressive. These brilliant primates are comparable to people in the sense that they can fight, kill, and harass one another if they’re angry enough. Anger level: 5/10. It’s hard to assess because every chimp has its own personality, but some chimps want to fight all the time while others basically do everything in their power to avoid conflict. Danger level: 6/10. It’s extremely rare that chimps kill anyone, but they can do serious damage if they come into close contact. Overall aggression score: 5.5/10
Polar Bear
No natural predators means everything is food Polar bears have evolved to survive in an environment where few animals can survive. As a consequence, the only other animals polar bears encounter are food. With no natural predators or dangers, polar bears will basically attack anything that moves if they’re hungry. In fact, there’s a running joke among wildlife enthusiasts when it comes to bear attacks: “If it’s black, fight back. If it’s brown, lie down…if it’s white, good luck.” Anger level: 6/10. They get a few points off because their anger is primarily hunger-based. Danger level: 10/10. Overall aggression score: 8/10
Wolverine
Sassy, territorial, and dangerous when hungry Wolverines actually get kind of a bad rap; they’re viewed as ferocious and angry, but they’re normally pretty chill. However, that can change pretty fast if the wolverine’s territory is infringed upon by other critters (including people if you don’t leave them alone). They can also get very aggressive if they’re hungry, which happens pretty often, given the fact that they’ve evolved to be scavengers in climates where scavenging is pretty tough. Anger level: 4/10. The conditions have to be right for a wolverine to get angry. Danger level: 2/10. Wolverine attacks on people are very rare. They’re more likely to fight with other wolverines than anything else. Overall aggression score: 3/10
Tasmanian Devil
Nothing likes showing their teeth more Like the wolverine, the Tasmanian devil probably has a bigger rep than it deserves. It loves showing its teeth and acting like it wants to fight, but it’s actually a pretty anxious and shy critter most of the time. That said, Tasmanian devils will fight it out if someone threatens them or you get near their food. Anger level: 4/10 Danger level: 1/10. Tasmanian devil attacks are extremely rare. Overall aggression score: 2.5/10.
Seagulls
If aggression were measured in ire, this is one aggressive bird Seagulls aren’t really that dangerous, and there are more aggressive animals out there for sure. But in terms of pure rage and disregard for the safety of others, the seagull is up there. They’ve evolved to basically ignore humans as threats, so if you’re walking down the boardwalk with a hot dog in your hand, watch out for these unfathomably annoying and dive-bombing bullies. Anger level: 10/10. They’re pure rage incarnate. Danger level: 0/10. They might poke you, but you’re not really in harm’s way. Overall aggression score: 5/10.
Comments
0 comment