Understanding the 'Manchild' Archetype in Relationships
First off, what exactly is a manchild? According to Swiss psychologist Marie-Louis von Franz, a manchild is a man who “remains too long in adolescent psychology; that is, all those characteristics that are normal in a youth of seventeen or eighteen are continued into later life.” In other words, a manchild is a man with the emotional maturity, habits, and attitude of a young boy. And while that can sometimes be charming and endearing, it can also cause a lot of frustration when you’re the one dating a manchild, which is why Sabrina’s song has seemed to strike a chord with so many people.
Sabrina’s song puts manchildren everywhere on blast. You said your phone was broken, just forgot to charge it / Whole outfit you're wearing, God, I hope it's ironic, she sings in the first verse, poking fun at how irresponsible manchildren are (you can’t even charge your phone, really?) and how helpless they can be (do you still need your mom to pick out your clothes for you?). The song is an anthem for all of the women and men who have found themselves dating an immature, reckless, unserious man, but still can’t resist (Oh, I like my boys playing hard to get / And I like my men all incompetent).
Decoding the Viral ‘Manchild’ Verse
The bridge in ‘Manchild’ is blowing up on TikTok. The bridge starts with Sabrina singing Hey men in a cheeky tone, followed by, Oh, I like my boys playing hard to get / And I like my men all incompetent / And I swear they choose me, I'm not choosing them / Amen, hey, men. Seemingly everyone on TikTok, including celebs like Anne Hathaway, are posting videos of themselves dancing with this part of the song playing in the background.
Why is this verse in particular striking such a chord with fans? The verse perfectly sums up the frustrating reality of dating a manchild: they may be incompetent and immature, but they’re also fun and irresistible at the same time. So while Sabrina is criticizing how seemingly brainless and childish some men can be, she’s also admitting that she actually likes men like that, even if they end up driving her crazy. And clearly a lot of people can relate!
How to Join in on the 'Manchild' TikTok Trend
Learn the viral ‘Manchild’ dance. Here’s a clip of Sabrina herself doing the dance with a couple of friends. There are also dozens of tutorials on TikTok that teach the dance to you, including this one by user Kaylortor that breaks down each step.
Film yourself doing the dance. Throw on a cute outfit, grab some friends (or dance solo), and play the viral verse from the song as you do the dance. Don’t be afraid to get silly—the verse and dance are meant to be tongue-in-cheek!
Upload your vid to TikTok. Add the viral verse from the song to the background of your video, and now you’re ready to join the thousands of people expressing their mixed feelings of love and frustration for the manchildren in their lives!
Navigating Relationships in the Age of 'Manchildren'
If you’re dating a manchild, don’t be afraid to communicate and set boundaries. A manchild might forget important commitments, never help with housework, avoid serious conversations about the future, and just in general not seem to take your feelings or relationship very seriously, all of which can really start to take a toll on you. If that’s the case, talk to him about how his behavior is affecting you, and set firm boundaries about what you are and aren’t willing to accept. Clinical psychologist Asa Don Brown, PhD, DNCCM, FAAETS, has this great advice about boundaries in relationships: “When we are establishing our boundaries, it is important that we voice [our] desires. Never assume that someone is aware of your personal boundaries, even if you consider these boundaries a no-brainer. Convey your message with a peaceful and calm voice. Voice each message with an I-statement."
Consider whether or not the relationship is worth it if a manchild refuses to grow up. If your manchild is causing you more stress than happiness, it might be time to move on. Licensed marriage & family therapist Lia Huynh says to watch out for “someone who does not take accountability for their actions or tries to rationalize or blame you for their wrongdoings. I’m not saying they have to admit guilt every time. However, they should at least sometimes show empathy for how it makes you feel." If they can’t even do that, you definitely deserve better!
Final Thoughts
Sabrina Carpenter’s ‘Manchild’ shines a light on the frustrating relationship dynamics of dating an immature guy. Its viral success and trending TikTok dance show just how much women and men around the world relate to the song’s lyrics about being both annoyed with and drawn to manchildren. If you have your own experience (or experiences!) with dating a manchild, join in on the viral TikTok trend by posting a video of your own. And if you’re currently dating a manchild, don’t be afraid to set firm boundaries with him.
Comments
0 comment