How to Earn a Kitten's Trust

Mastering Simple Interactions

Interact with your kitten in brief sessions. If your kitten doesn’t trust you, you should not overwhelm it with interaction. Let your kitten do its own thing most of the time, and interact with it in several short 15-20 minutes sessions over the course of the day. These sessions might include play time with toys, talking to it, petting, feeding treats, or any other interaction. By the end of the day, the kitten should have spent at least two hours in total interacting with you. This shared time will help you build a rapport with the kitten.

Don’t stare at the kitten. Your parents may have told you that it was impolite to stare. Kittens agree. In the wild, staring is what predators do to their prey, so staring at your kitten will trigger its fear instincts. Instead, blink your eyes often as you interact you’re your kitten. Turn your head from side to side as you speak to it.

Speak kindly to your cat. If you persistently startle your cat by yelling at it or around it, you will have a hard time earning its trust. Instead, always speak to your pet in a soft, loving manner. Your cat will be able to detect when it’s being spoken to with kindness and love, and will begin to trust you.

Engaging in Interactions That Require More Trust

Lie down on your stomach. When your cat is still new to your home, lie down near it or in front of it when your paths cross. Speak to your kitten in a quiet, comforting voice, saying things like, “Hi, kitty. It's just me. You can trust me.” Soon, your cat will become interested in you and come over to give you a sniff. Repeat this exercise three or four time daily for a week or so. The exact distance away from your cat you should lie down varies depending on much your cat distrusts you. The less trust your cat has in you, the further away you will need to lie down in order to entice it to come near. It might take several exchanges before your cat actually gets interested in you enough to come over and see what you’re doing. Do not reach your hand out to the cat during this stage.

Offer food from your hand. Keep some treats handy as you walk around the house during the day. When you encounter the kitten that does not trust you, squat down on one knee. In a gentle voice, say, “Here, kitty. Would you like a treat?” Place a cat treat in the center of one upturned palm and extend it to the kitten. Repeat three or four times a day. At first, keep your arm extended out as far as you can. After a week or so, start to bring your arm in closer to your body. This will allow your cat to feel safer with you. This feeling of security will help you earn a kitten’s trust. At this point, reduce the number of times each day you give your kitten a treat to just one or two.

Pet your kitten. After your kitten is comfortable eating from your hand in close proximity to your body, introduce a new element to the interaction. While your cat is nibbling the treat in one hand, bring your other hand up and stroke the cat gently from the top of its head or neck toward its tail. Smooth, steady strokes along its back will reassure your kitten and help you earn its trust.

Pick the kitten up. If you pick a kitten up before it trusts you, it will become startled. Only pick the kitten up after it trusts you enough to eat from your hand and allow you to pet it. When you lift your kitten, do so from the kitten’s left side. Cup your right hand under the right side of its body and support its chest with your right hand. Bring the kitten up against your chest where it will feel safe. Cross your left arm over your right to secure its body against yours. Holding your cat in this way can also help you earn its trust.

Play with your kitten. Playtime is not just a fun distraction for both you and your kitten, but also an important bonding experience. To earn a kitten’s trust, wave a string toy near it, or flash a laser pointer across the floor in front of it. Your kitten will have great fun and will learn to associate you with happiness and all the other good feelings that make trust possible.

Introduce your cat to a wide variety of people. If kittens are not raised with a wide variety of experiences, they will remain anxious and afraid when confronted by novel situations as they age. To prevent your kitten from developing an untrustworthy attitude, introduce it to tall people, short people, men and women, old people and young people. This will help break your cat of any prejudices that might prevent it from trusting you or others. If you do not have many friends or live alone, one way that you can socialize your kitten properly and thereby earn its trust is to leave the radio or television on during the day. This will allow your kitten to become accustomed to the sound of human speech.

Managing Your Kitten’s Space

Provide your cat with a cage. Your kitten will love the safety and security of its crate or cage. The cage provides your cat with a refuge from you and all the other people that it doesn’t quite trust. Don’t close the door to the cage. Just allow your kitten to hang out in there when it wants. Don’t attempt to remove your kitten or pester it to come out. This will not be conducive to trust-building. The cage should have enough room for the kitten to stand up and turn around. You might want to put a soft towel or cloth on the bottom of the cage to make it cozier for your kitten.

Put the kitten in an enclosed space by itself. If you live in a house with loud children and big, barking pets, your kitten might be scared – especially if it already doesn’t trust you. Place your kitten in a small room without other pets or people. If you’re not yet at the stage where you can pick your kitten up, entice your kitten into the room using kitty treats. This is an important step if you know you’ll be having company over. Keep your kitten in the enclosed space until you’ve told your guests that you want to introduce them to your kitten. Instruct your guests to get down on their hands and knees and speak in a kind manner to the kitten that doesn’t trust you. Even if you don’t have company, kids, or other pets, it is important to keep kittens isolated when introducing them to a new space. This will keep them feeling happy and safe. And if they feel happy and safe, they will be more capable of extending their trust to you.

Introduce your kitten to new rooms slowly. Being in a big, new space can be disorienting and scary for kittens. Your kitten might struggle to trust you if it is suddenly set loose in a house that, from its perspective, is a giant maze. Keep your kitten confined and introduce it to new spaces of the house gradually. Showing your kitten one new room every two or three days should be a slow enough rate of exposure to prevent alarm.

Providing for Your Kitten

Give your cat food and water. When you give your kitten food and water, it will come to know you as a caretaker or surrogate mother. This can help you earn a kitten’s trust. Place the food and water in pet dishes. Don’t use regular plates and bowls or your kitten will come to believe that when you are eating, you’re taking its food. The best pet dishes for kittens are made of ceramic or glass. Unlike flimsy tin or plastic dishes, they are unlikely to spill. Plastic dishes, moreover, can leach chemicals your kitten’s water.

Provide a litter box. If your kitten does not have a place to do its business, it will be difficult for it to bond with you. To earn a cat’s trust, place a litterbox in a quiet, low-traffic area of the house. Don’t place the litter box near the furnace or washing machine. These loud areas will scare the kitten. Don’t place the litterbox in the corner of a room or in a closet. These spaces will make the cat feel trapped and disinclined to use the litter box.

Obtain a variety of toys for your kitten. If you regularly bring gifts to your cat, it will soon come to trust you as someone who is kind and good-hearted. Each cat has different playtime preferences, so provide many different balls, string toys, and other toys. When you’ve identified a toy that your kitten particularly likes, spend most of your playtime with that toy.