“Howdy.”
This classic should draw a smile out of anybody. Fun fact, “howdy” is a shortened version of “how do ye?” While it may not raise an eyebrow in Texas where it’s commonly used today, this funny little greeting is way more interesting than “hi” or “hello.” Kids also tend to find the sound of this word funny, as well. You could also try: “Howdy-doo.” “Howdy der partner.” “Howdy, rowdy-roo.”
“Ahoy, matey.”
Accents can really drive a goofy greeting home. Something like “ahoy matey” with a goofy pirate voice will totally get a laugh. Throw a little “arrrrr” in there and close one eye (like you have an eyepatch) to really ham it up for bonus points. If the pirate’s life isn’t feeling like the vibe right now, try one of these other options out: “’Ello, gov’nr!” (British accent) “Top o’ the morning to ya.” (Irish accent) “Greetings, comrade.” (Russian accent)
“Aloha.”
Borrow a greeting from another language for something fresh. “Aloha” is a traditional Hawaiian greeting that means “peace and love.” This is a friendly, playful way to say hello (or say goodbye—“aloha” can be used either way). It’s also low stakes comedy-wise, which makes it a great option for greeting co-workers. You might give these other options a shot: “Shalom.” (Hebrew) “Bonjour.” (French) “Hola.” (Spanish) “Konnichiwa.” (Japanese) “Guten Tag.” (German)
“Yo yo yo!”
Go the ironically hip route to play up your youthful side. This works especially well if you’re older than the person you’re greeting and you want to embarrass them a bit, or if you’re greeting someone a lot older and you want to throw them for a loop. A playful, goofy slang-filled greeting is sure to get a laugh. “Hey dudes. How are my super rad friends doing?” “Wazzup, homie!” “How do you do, fellow kids?”
“What’s kickin’, chicken?”
These goofy, rhyming greetings tend to be very popular with children. Sometimes, a greeting is just funny because it sounds silly. Give one of these funny-sounding greetings a shot. There’s even another chicken-related option if you’re trying to ruffle some feathers. (Get it?) “What’s cookin’, good lookin’?” “How you livin’, chicken?” “What’s shakin’, bacon?” “How now, brown cow?”
“How do lions greet other animals? Pleased to eat you!”
Tell an actual joke about saying hello to throw them for a loop. Love jokes? Do you enjoy greeting people? Combine your two favorite activities by delivering the punchline as you say hello. The other person might roll their eyes at you, but at least they’ll have a smile on their face! Give one of these a shot: “What does a horse eat? Hayyyyyyy.” “What did one plant say to the other? Aloe! Long thyme no see.” “How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice—how are you? I’m Jake!”
“Salutations.”
A mockingly formal greeting is a fun way to get a chuckle. Stick your chin up, straighten out your posture, and throw your arm up in front of you like a fancy butler. Put your best snobbish accent on and throw out a greeting from the 1800s like a fancy railroad tycoon. You could also try: “Well met.” “Greetings, friend.” “Marvin! In the flesh, as I live and breathe!” “Good day, young chap.”
“So…we meet at last.”
Pretend you’re greeting an arch nemesis or old rival. This is a fun little roleplaying moment for you and a good friend. Play it up like you’re running into your worst enemy (in a joking way) to get a laugh out of onlookers who may not know you’re joking at first. You could even get into a stance like an old gunslinger, or squint your eyes like you’re suspicious as you greet them. You might say: “This ends here, my old friend.” “I thought I told you to get out of town…” “Look 'ere partner…this town ain’t big enough for the two of us.”
“Here’s Johnny!”
A reference to a popular bit of media can work as a funny greeting. This one kind of only works if the other person gets the reference, so you’re more likely to get a chuckle from the older crowd here. Pick a fun reference that the other person is likely to understand and use that as your greeting. You could also pick: “Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya.” “Goooood morning, Vietnam!” “Ghostbusters, whatya want?”
“Hey there, honeybunch.”
If you’re saying hello to your partner, go for a cute and funny combo. Sure, you could go all out on the funny angle, but if you’re greeting your crush, girlfriend, or boyfriend, why not make them blush at the same time? Here are a few cute ways to say hello: “What’s good, boo boo?” “Hey there hot stuff.” “Hi! I like your face.” “Aye baby, how you doin’?”
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